Revealed Jokes / Recent Jokes
In Aurangabad, 1968, in conjunction with the sisters of the Holy Cross, I was organist and choirmaster for a Christmas Carol Service. A number of officials were invited to read selected portions from the Scriptures. One portion: "The treasures will be opened and the glories of God will be revealed' was read as: "The trousers will be opened and the glories of God will be revealed.'
MASSIVE TUMOUR
In October 1991, surgeons at Stanford University Hospital removed an ovarian tumour weighing over 21 stone from a woman. It was the largest cyst ever detached from a human being. After the operation, the woman weighed 5 stone LESS than the tumour.
BABY CHICKEN
A 50 year old woman was brought into a New York emergency room complaining of abdominal pains. During an examination, doctors found that the woman's labia were pinned together with old safety pins. Further inside, they found the dismembered body of a chicken. The woman explained that she inserted the chicken pieces, convinced that they would grow into a baby.
INNER SKELETON
A 63 year old widow was admitted to hospital in Recife, Brazil suffering abdominal pains. X-rays showed that she was carrying a 20 inch long skeleton of a foetus which she conceived a decade earlier. It had become lodged outside the womb and was never expelled from more...
Fire Authorities in California found a corpse in a burnt out section of forest whilst assessing the
damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wetsuit, complete with a dive
tank, flippers and face mask.
A post mortem examination revealed that the person died not from burns but from massive internal
injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification.
Investigators then set about determining how a fully clad diver ended up in the middle of a forest
fire. It was revealed that, on the day of the fire, the person went for a diving trip off the coast -
some 20 kilometers away from the forest.
The firefighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, called in a fleet of
helicopters with very large buckets. The buckets were dropped into the ocean for rapid filling, then
flown to the forest fire and emptied.
You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific, the more...
Recently scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men twelve bottles of beer each. The scientists observed that 100% of the male test group gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and couldn't drive. No further testing is planned.
Just who is Jack Schitt? Finally, the lineage is revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Read on and you will be better able to handle the situation intelligently.
Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, senior partner of Kneedeep N Schitt Inc.
Subsequently, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple had six children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' wishes, Deep Schitt married a high school dropout named Dumb Schitt.
After 15 years of marriage, Jack & Noe Schitt divorced. Later, Noe Schitt married Bradley Sherlock. Out of consideration for her children, who were living with them at the time, Noe decided to hyphenate her last name, thus becoming Noe Schitt-Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and the couple more...