Ribbon Jokes / Recent Jokes

Mark and Sharon decide they don't want to discuss sex in front of their 4
and 6 year old children, so they decide to talk in code.

One day Mark is feeling a little bit turned on and says to Katie, "Tell
your mother I would really like to type a letter."

Katie runs off to find her mom. " Mommy, mommy", shouts Katie, "Daddy would
like to type a letter."

Sharon replies slightly sheepishly, "Katie, go and tell your daddy that he
can't type a letter today as there is a red ribbon in the typewriter."

Katie tears off to her father and says, " Daddy, daddy, mommy says you
can't type a letter today as there is a red ribbon in the typewriter."

A few days later Sharon remembers that Mark was a little bit keen on a bit
of nookie and she called Katie, "Katie, tell your daddy that he can type
that letter today."

Katie went off to look for more...

A kilted Scotsman was walking down a country path after finishing off a considerable amount of whisky at a local pub. As he staggered down the road, he felt quite sleepy and decided to take a nap, with his back against a tree.

As he slept, two young lasses walked down the road and heard the Scotsman snoring loudly. They saw him, and one said, "I've always wondered what a Scotsman wears under his kilt."

She boldly walked over to the sleeping man, raised his kilt, and saw what nature had provided him at his birth.

Her friend said, "Well, he has solved a great mystery for us, now! He must be rewarded!" So, she took a blue ribbon from her hair, and gently tied it around what nature had provided the Scotsman, and the two walked away.

Several minutes later, the Scotsman was awakened by the call of nature, and walked around to the other side of the tree to relieve himself. He raised his kilt... and saw where the blue ribbon was more...

What a Scotsman Wears Under His Kilt
A kilted Scotsman was walking down a country path after finishing off a
large amount of whisky at a local pub. He felt quite sleepy and decided to
nap against a tree. As he slept, two female tourists heard his loud
snoring. When they found him, one said, "
I've always wondered what a
Scotsman wears under his kilt."
She boldly walked over to the sleeper,
raised his kilt, and saw that he wore nothing at all. Her friend said,
"
Well, the mystery is solved! Let's thank him for sharing!"
She took off
her pretty blue hair ribbon and gently tied it around the Scotsman's
endowment. A while later, the Scotsman was awakened by the call of nature.
He raised his kilt and was bewildered at the sight of the neatly tied blue
ribbon. He stared for a minute, then said, "
I don't know where y'been
laddie... but it's nice ta see you won firrrst prrrize!"

THE KILTED SCOTSMAN
A kilted Scotsman was walking down a country path after finishing off a considerable amount of whiskey at a local pub. As he staggered down the road, he felt quite sleepy and decided to take a nap, with his back against a tree.
As he slept, two young lasses walked down the road and heard the Scotsman snoring loudly. They saw him, and one said, "I've always wondered what a Scotsman wears under his kilt."
She boldly walked over to the sleeping man, raised his kilt, and saw what nature had provided him at his birth.
Her friend said, "Well, he has solved a great mystery for us, now!
He must be rewarded!" So, she took a blue ribbon from her hair, and gently tied it around what nature had provided the Scotsman, and the two walked away.
Some time later, the Scotsman was awakened by the call of nature, and walked around to the other side of the tree to relieve himself. He raised his kilt...and saw where the blue ribbon was more...

THE KILTED SCOTSMANA kilted Scotsman was walking down a country path after finishing off a considerable amount of whiskey at a local pub. As he staggered down the road, he felt quite sleepy and decided to take a nap, with his back against a tree.As he slept, two young lasses walked down the road and heard the Scotsman snoring loudly. They saw him, and one said, "I've always wondered what a Scotsman wears under his kilt."She boldly walked over to the sleeping man, raised his kilt, and saw what nature had provided him at his birth.Her friend said, "Well, he has solved a great mystery for us, now! He must be rewarded!" So, she took a blue ribbon from her hair, and gently tied it around what nature had provided the Scotsman, and the two walked away.Some time later, the Scotsman was awakened by the call of nature, and walked around to the other side of the tree to relieve himself. He raised his kilt...and saw where the blue ribbon was tied.After several moments of more...

On the first day of Christmas my puppy gave to me,
The Santa topper from the Christmas tree.
On the second day of Christmas my puppy gave to me,
Two leaking bubble lights,
And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.
On the third day of Christmas my puppy gave to me,
Three punctured ornaments,
Two leaking bubble lights,
And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.
On the fourth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me,
Four broken window candles,
Three punctured ornaments,
Two leaking bubble lights,
And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.
On the fifth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me,
Five chewed-up stockings,
Four broken window candles,
Three punctured ornaments,
Two leaking bubble lights,
And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.
On the sixth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me,
Six yards of soggy ribbon,
Five chewed-up stockings,
Four broken window more...

On the first day of Christmas my puppy gave to me,
The Santa topper from the Christmas tree.
On the second day of Christmas my puppy gave to me,
Two leaking bubble lights,
And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.
On the third day of Christmas my puppy gave to me,
Three punctured ornaments,
Two leaking bubble lights,
And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.
On the fourth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me,
Four broken window candles,
Three punctured ornaments,
Two leaking bubble lights,
And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.
On the fifth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me,
Five chewed-up stockings,
Four broken window candles,
Three punctured ornaments,
Two leaking bubble lights,
And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.
On the sixth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me,
Six yards of soggy ribbon,
Five chewed-up stockings,
Four broken window candles,
Three punctured more...