Rice Jokes / Recent Jokes
Milton Rice took his business associates to an expensive French restaurant. Rather than admit he couldn't read a word of the menu, he went ahead and ordered for his guests. Although the waiter's brows arched when Mr. Rice ordered his own meal, he brought the man what hef asked for: a whole pig smothered in pineapple sauce. When the tray was wheeled over, Mr. Rice was shocked, but he didn't miss a beat. Reaching into the pig's mouth, he withdrew the apple.
"It's expensive," he said to his associates, "but you know-this is the only way I like apples."
A friend of mine whose mother had recently passed away was seen eating red glutinous rice on one rare occasion. A pedantic scholar who came to hear of this expressed his disapproval by saying that it was highly improper for one in mourning to eat red rice. Asked why, he explained that red signified happiness. Said my friend: " Does it mean that those who eat white rice are all in mourning?"
Once there was an old grandmother who believed in taboo. On New Year's Year's Day and other festival days, she would try only to say nice things, and never let the word "no" rashly fall from her mouth. One lunar New Year's Day, as soon as the granddaughter passed her a bowl of sweet rice porridge. She drank it up joyfully. "Grandma, will you take another bowl of rice porridge?", asked the granddaughter. "All right," replied the grandmother. The little girl passed her the second bowl of rice porridge and quickly she drank it. "Some more rice porridge?", asked the granddaughter. The grandmother thought that during New Year's Day she couldn't say "no", and so she replied promptly, "O. K., I'll drink a third bowl." In this way the grandmother drank six bowls, and her stomach was like a big drum. The little girl who wasn't very sensible still asked persistently. "Grandma, would you like to drink some more sweet rice more...
"We're still on the road to World War III. Things were looking a little grim last week - all those countries pressuring us to call for an immediate cease-fire, but we stayed strong. Sure, we sent over Condi Rice to negotiate, but she's not there for cease-fire. No, she's there for 'sustainable cease-fire,' which considering the Middle East, is like sending her to bring back Jimmy Hoffa on a unicorn." -Stephen Colbert
"Yesterday Condoleezza Rice went into President Bush's office and said, 'I'm off to Lebanon.' And President Bush said, 'Vacation?'." -Jay Leno
"Saddam Hussein has been on a hunger strike for seventeen days. They had to nurse him back to health with a feeding tube to get him healthy enough so he can go back on trial. And then be put to death. It is an odd thing. Two years ago, we were dropping ten thousand pound bombs on the guy. Now we're feeding him nutrients through a tube. No wonder he's confused." -Jimmy Kimmel
"This more...
Yo mama so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
Your stomach growls when you don't eat rice for a day. You believe kecap ABC could turn bad cooking to gourmet food. You think our country is a democracy. You talk during a movie. You use a bucket instead of toilet paper in the bathroom. You eat fried rice in the morning. You prefer Versace or Moschino jeans over Gap or Levi's. You don't think Jim Carrey is funny. You think Onky Alexander is a hunk. You think Rhoma Irama is kampungan. You carry a 16 oz. jar of sambal to where ever you travel. Driving a car that is cheaper than $15, 000 embarrasses you. You think dangdut is stupid, but listen to it anyways, because you are homesick. You are willing to travel 25 miles to buy tahu and tempe. You are "Dreaming of a WARM Christmas". You are very good at avoiding potholes and other road hazards. Your local McDonald's serves rice and sambal. You think Supermi is a staple food. You have ever tried passing a Rp 50 coin as a quarter in a US vending machine/pay phone. You have ever more...