Rice Jokes / Recent Jokes
You Know Someone Is From Hawaii If...
They have a separate circuit breaker for their rice cooker.
Only NOW they know that cilantro is the same as Chinese parsley.
They measure the water for the rice by the knuckle of their index finger. They know which market sells poi on which days.
They know that Char Sung Hut is closed on Tuesday.
They can handle shoyu with green mango, li hing mui gummy bears, raw egg on hot rice, and pearl tea (carnation milk in hot water with sugar) with creme crackers.
Their refrigerator has half-empty jar of mango chutney from the `95 Punahou Carnival.
The condiments at the table are shoyu, ketchup, chili peppah watah, and kimchee. Also, takuwan, Hawaiian salt, slice onion, and pickle onion. They go to Maui and their luggage home includes potato chips, manju, cream puffs, and guri guri for omiyage.
They think the four food groups are starch (rice), Spam, fried food, and fruit punch.
A balanced meal has three more...
New York, NY - September 2004
6: 00 PM - Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell
6: 30 PM - Pledge of Allegiance
6: 35 PM - Ceremonial Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd Amendment)
6: 45 PM - Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
6: 46 PM - Seminar #1: Katherine Harris on “Are Elections Really Necessary? ”
7: 30 PM - Announcement: Lincoln Memorial Renamed for Ronald Reagan
7: 35 PM - Trent Lott: “Re-segregation in the 21st Century”
7: 40 PM - EPA Address #1: Mercury: It’s What’s for Dinner
8: 00 PM - Vote on which country to invade next
8: 10 PM - Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8: 15 PM - John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos Are After Your Children
8: 30 PM - Round table discussion on reproductive rights (men only)
8: 50 PM - Seminar #2: Corporations: The Government of the Future
9: 00 PM - Condi Rice sings more...
There was a shortage of rice in Sri Lanka some years ago. Well to do and the able were the selected crowd did enjoyed this luxary. Most others just pretended that they too enjoy the same. Our Village Headman was one of them. As numerous ones visit him rgularly he made it a point to impress them that he is defenitely one who is blessed with this luxary. So every time when some one visit him he apply some cooked grains of rice on his moustache and come forward to impress that he had just enjoyed a good meal of rice.
Once a group of villagers droped in, on some kind of complains. As usual he came forward to meet the group with' rice attachment on his moustache.'
Right then his young son came running to the front of the house and said, "Thaathea, Thaathea that coconut shell you keep rice to place on your moustache before meeting people who come here was knocked by the cat and they are all now coward with ash near the fire place.