Rice Jokes / Recent Jokes
Three high steel building workers break for lunch and sit down high above the city.
First worker opens his lunch box and complains, "Not lentils and rice again today, Every day, lentils & rice, lentils & rice. If I have lentils & rice again tomorrow I will throw myself from this building."
Second worker opens his lunch box and exclaims, "Not butter chicken & rice again. Every day chicken & rice. If I have that again tomorrow I'll throw myself off too."
The last worker, a blonde opens his lunch box and said, "Not baked macaroni and cheese again. Every day the same baked macaroni and cheese. If I have that one more time tomorrow I'll throw myself off with you guys."
The next day at lunch, the first worker opens his lunch and cries, "Lintils and rice.?!?"
He throws himself off the building from the 20th floor!
The second worker his lunch and sees that he has butter chicken and rice again and throws himself off, too!
The more...
Chuck Norris once ate an entire ream of rice paper and shat out origami swans and Mister Miyagi from Karate Kid.
General Tikka Khan of Pakistan and his troops left behind a sizeable anthology of jokes in Bangladesh which are still recounted there. The pattern of those jokes is very much the same as those manufactured by the Jews under Hitlerite tyranny.
A farmer brought his prize rooster to sell in the market.' What do you feed that bird that he is so big?' asked a Pathan solider of the Pakistan army.'
'I feed it rice, sir,' replied the farmer.
'How dare you waste rice on the bird while we are short of food?' said the Pathan and seized the bird.
The next day the farmer brought another rooster to sell.' What do you feed that bird that he is so big?' demanded a Baluch soldier of the Pakistan army.
'Sir, I feed it with ghee,' replied the farmer.
'How dare your waste ghee on a bird while we are short of food!' swore the Baluchi as he seized the bird.
On the third day the poor farmer brought his last remaining rooster to the market. This time a Punjabi Mussalman more...
One day Nasrudin was walking along a deserted road. Night was
falling as he spied a troop of horsemen coming toward him. His
imagination began to work, and he feared that they might rob him,
or impress him into the army. So strong did this fear become that
he leaped over a wall and found himself in a graveyard. The other
travelers, innocent of any such motive as had been assumed by
Nasrudin, became curious and pursued him.
When they came upon him lying motionaless, one said, "Can we help
you? And, why are you here in this position?"
Nasrudin, realizing his mistake said, "It is more complicated
than you assume. You see, I am here because of you; and you, you
are here because of me."
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EVEN THE INNOCENCE HAVE GUILT
One day he disagreed with the prior of a monastery at which he
was staying. Shortly afterward, a bag of rice was missing. more...
What is Korean Dracula's favorite morning beverage? Koh-peee! (coffee) What does the Korean bread say when it hit the wall? Bhang! Why is Korean toilet paper so big? Because it's HUGE-ey! What did the mommy Korean turkey say to her baby turkey? Gobble ji mah! What do you call the brown burnt rice at the bottom of the rice cooker? bob ee brown! (Bobby Brown) So there was this really really cute/pretty Korean girl Tragically, one day, she lost one of her ears in an accident. As she was looking out at the ocean on a bright morning along the beach, a man caught sight of her and was awed by her stunning beauty. He could not see that she had only one ear, as her long hair ran luxuriously down the sides of her head. Boldly, he approached the young woman wanting to start some kind of conversation, anything, just to talk to her, so he said, "ah, kee uhb dah!
Austin, Texas - Nothing's too small for politicians to debate. Even molecules. Rep. Scott Hochberg, D-Houston, apparently thought his idea of making Rice University's Nobel Prize-winning "buckyball" the official Texas molecule would glide through the Legislature unopposed.
But Hochberg, a Rice alum and an electrical engineer tutored in the arguments of science, should have known better.
University of Texas chemist Jonathan Sessler has another candidate for the Texas title: his Texaphyrin, a 9-year-old, engineered molecule undergoing tests as a delivery system for anti-cancer drugs.
For one thing, Sessler says buckyballs - the whimsically nicknamed form of carbon discovered by Rice chemists Rick Smalley and Robert Curl - belong to nature and, therefore, aren't specifically Texan. Sessler, on the other hand, designed his Texaphyrin, for which a patent is pending, in the shape of a two-dimensional Frisbee with a five-point Lone Star in the middle of more...
Your only close friends are Hmong people. You hate "white" music and only listen to pop, techno, rap or r&b music, which, of course, are not "white". N'sync is black. You wear platforms and stylish clothes (girls). You wear baggy or preppy clothes (boys). You live in a Hmong community and never leave. If you leave, you always end up coming back. Your parents compare who has the worst kids. You have a rice cooker and buy 100 lbs. of rice every month. You have a whole pig/cow/chicken in your refrigerator. You have over ten kids in the family. Your parents/grandparents can't speak English. You have a baby or get married before you turn sixteen. All you think about is boys/girls. You know someone who works in a factory. You have cockroaches in your house. Family is the most important thing in your life. You go to all the Hmong tournaments in the summer. You have Hmong pride. You know how to spell "kuv hlub koj" and that's it. You live in Wisconsin, Minnesota more...