Rice Jokes / Recent Jokes

Enlightenment Quiz1. Yin and... A) Yout B) Tonic C) Yenta D) Yang2. A Zen koan is... > A) A Jewish Buddhist B) All of the above C) None of the above D) None of the above3. Just before total God-realization I would see... > A) A blue pearl B) Nothing C) Everything D) How would I know? 4. Lao-Tsu is... A) Shrimp with fried rice B) The Atman Brothers C) A Japanese word for sneeze D) Someone you should know about5) Jivatman and Atman merge to become... A) Jivatmanatman B) The Atman Brothers C) Jivatman & Atman Inc. D) Mr. & Mrs. Atman6) The word or words which best describes the relationship of God, Guru, and Self is:- A) Oneness B) Twoness C) Penpalness D) Just good friends7) Which of the following is not a name of the Lord?> A) Jehova B) Elohim C) Yahweh D) Charlton Heston8) If you swap a Swami with a Yogi you get... A) A Swogi B) A Salami C) Yogurt D) Heartburn9) Carlos Castaneda is: A) A flamenco dancer B) A resort near San Juan C) A mystery D) The guitarist for Santana10) Om Mani more...

One day Will Smith and his Korean friend went to a Korean restaurant. The Korean guy ordered rice with kimchi chigae. Will Smith didn't know what to get, so he said to come back later. The Korean guy went to the bathroom after he ordered. Then the waiter came to Will Smith and asked him what he would like to order. Will Smith said, "yea I want a bowl of rice." The waiter then asked, "what would you like with that?" and Will Smith said, "yea... I want chigae with it" so when the friend got back he asked what Will Smith got with his bowl of rice and Will Smith said " gettin chigae with it"

Enlightenment Quiz1. Yin and. ........ A) Yout B) Tonic C) Yenta D) Yang2. A Zen koan is. .......> A) A Jewish Buddhist B) All of the above C) None of the above D) None of the above3. Just before total God-realization I would see.......> A) A blue pearl B) Nothing C) Everything D) How would I know? 4. Lao-Tsu is....... A) Shrimp with fried rice B) The Atman Brothers C) A Japanese word for sneeze D) Someone you should know about5) Jivatman and Atman merge to become....... A) Jivatmanatman B) The Atman Brothers C) Jivatman & Atman Inc. D) Mr. & Mrs. Atman6) The word or words which best describes the relationship of God, Guru, and Self is:- A) Oneness B) Twoness C) Penpalness D) Just good friends7) Which of the following is not a name of the Lord?> A) Jehova B) Elohim C) Yahweh D) Charlton Heston8) If you swap a Swami with a Yogi you get....... A) A Swogi B) A Salami C) Yogurt D) Heartburn9) Carlos Castaneda is: A) A flamenco dancer B) A resort near San Juan C) A mystery D) The guitarist more...

Monday: Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home. It's fun to cook for John. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said, "Beat 12 eggs separately." The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls."
Tuesday: John wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said, "Serve without dressing." So I didn't dress. What a surprise when John brought a friend home for supper.
Wednesday: A good day for rice. Recipe said, "Wash thoroughly before steaming the rice." It seemed kinda of silly but I took a bath. I can't say it improved the rice any.
Thursday: Today John asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said, "Prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving." Which is what led up to John asking me why I was rolling around in the garden.
Friday: I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said, "Put all 20 ingredients in bowl and beat it." There must have been something wrong more...

84 Ways to Know If You`re Chinese 1. You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping (and especially those bows) next year. 2. You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off. 3. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out. 4. You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table. 5. Your stove is covered with aluminum foil. 6. Your kitchen has a sticky film of grease over it. 7. You have stuff in the freezer since the beginning of time. 8. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack. 9. You have never used your dishwasher. 10. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times. 11. You boil water and put it in the refrigerator. 12. You eat all meals in the kitchen. 13. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers. 14. You use grocery bags to hold garbage. 15. You always leave your shoes at the door. 16. You have a piano in your living more...

There were three men working at the top of a building. One was Chinese, one was Mexican, and the other one was Polish. At lunch they went to the edge and the top of the building the Mexican guy pulled out a taco and he said if I get another taco I am gonna jump off this bulding tomorrow. The Chinese guy pulled out fried rice and said if I get fried rice tomorrow I'm gonna jump off with you. The Polish guy pulled out a ham sanwich and said if I get another ham sandwich I'm gonna jump tomorrow with you guys too. The next day the Mexican guy got a taco so he jumped off. The Chinese guy got fried rice so he jumped off. The Polish guy got a ham sandwich so hey jumped off the building. The next day their wives had a triple funeral and the Mexican guy's wife was crying and she said I could have made him a burrito or something. The Chinese guy's wife was cring and said I could have made him some sushi. Th e Polish guy's wife couldn't stop laughing. The other's asked what was so funny? She more...

Dear Diary,
Monday:
Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home, it's fun to cook for Bob. Today I made an angel food cake and the recipe said, "Beat 12 eggs separately." Well, I didn't have enough bowls to do that, so I had to borrow enough bowls to beat the eggs in. The cake turned out fine.
Tuesday:
We wanted a fruit salad for supper. The recipe said, serve without dressing." So I didn't dress. But, Bob happened to bring a friend home for supper that night. Did they ever look startled when I served the salad.
Wednesday:
I decided to serve rice and found a recipe which said, "Wash thoroughly before steaming the rice." So I heated some water and took a bath before steaming the rice. Sounded kinda silly in the middle of the week. I can't say it improved the rice any.
Thursday:
Today Bob asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said, "Prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before more...