Riddle Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: Why don't men trust women?

A: Would you trust something that bleeds for four days and still lives?

Q. How do you get a Picachu on a bus?

A. Poke him on!

Q: What do tourists pay guides to do at the grand canyon?

A: To let them mount their ass and ride in the crack!

Q. Why was Washington buried standing up?

A. He never lied!

Q. How many Glenn Hubbards does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. None. It is not necessary to change the lightbulb. There is no evidence that visibility moves in lockstep with new lightbulb installation.

Q. How many Larry Lindseys does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. None. All you need to do is open the refrigerator door.

Q. How many John Snows does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. The problem is which John Snow. The one who thought we needed to conserve electricity, or the one who thinks that electrical power is limitless.

Q. How many Karl Roves does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Karl Rove ain't changin no lightbulb. You're changing the bulb, bub, and if you don't he'll fuck you frontways, sideways, upside down, and your career at Princeton will be over.

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Picard: There are four lights!

Riker: I don't know why, but I know how: with pleasure, sir.

Troi: I feel the chicken's pain!

Data: The chicken, in observing that it was on the opposite side of the 20th century Terran paved roadway, was aware that its immediate goal should have been to traverse the distance without interception by an kind of combustion- propelled personal transport vehicle, but I am unclear as to why any kind of domesticated fowl should desire to perambulate upon a conveyance normally reserved for the usage of...yes, sir.

Geordi: Well, wherever it's going, I'm sure it'll have more luck with women than I do.

Worf: KLINGON chickens do NOT cross roads.

Dr. Crusher: If there's nothing wrong with the chicken, there must be something wrong with the universe.

Tasha: That depends...was it fully functional?

Wesley: I'm not sure, but I can figure more...