Riddle Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: How do you get 30 Israelis into a telephone box?
A: Tell them it's air-tight
Q: How do you get 30 Americans into a telephone box?
A: Tell them it's got oil in it
Q: How do you get 30 French into a telephone box?
A: Tell them it's not in Iraq
Q: How do you get 30 Europeans into a telephone box?
A: Tell them there's no fighting involved
Q: How do you get 30 British politicians in a telephone box?
A: Tell them there are votes in it
Q: How do you get 30 Brits into a telephone box?
A: Tell them it's safer than a Tornado
Q: How do you get 30 British MI5 men into a telephone box?
A: Tell them an Iraqi lives there
Q: How do you get 30 British-resident Iraqis into a telephone box?
A: Tell the MI5 men it's Penton-ville Prison
Q: How do you get 30 Russians into a telephone box?
A: Tell them there's a slice of bread more...
Q: Whay does a blonde wear underwear?
A: To keep her ankles warm.
Adam Senan
Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? He sold his soul to Santa
Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? He's all right now.
How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path.
How do you get holy water? Boil the hell out of it.
How does a spoiled rich girl change a light bulb? She says,' Daddy, I want a new apartment.'
What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?' Dam'.
What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? Polaroids.
What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.
What do the letters D.N.A. stand for? National Dyslexics Association.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese.
What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate Clauses.
What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand? Quatro more...
Nike Condoms: Just do it.
Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling.
Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby.
Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can't stop.
Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker.
Flintstones Vitamins Condom Pack: Ten million strong and growing.
Secret Condoms: Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
Macintosh Condoms: It does more, it costs less, its that simple.
Ford Condoms: The best never rest.
Chevy Condoms: Like a rock.
Dial Condoms: Aren't you glad you use it? Don't you wish everybody did?
New York Lotto Condoms: Cause hey-- you never know.
California Lotto Condoms: Who's next?
Avis Condoms: Trying harder than ever.
KFC Condoms: Finger-Licking Good.
Coca Cola Condoms: Always a Real Thing.
Lays Condoms: Betcha can't have just one.
Cambells Soup Condoms: Mm, mm more...
Q:Why are those two couches on top of eachother??
A: Maybe they are making "love seats"
Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born?
To knock the penises off the smart ones.
What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called?
The man.
Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?
When it's time to go back to childhood, he's already there.
Why are men like commercials?
You can't believe a word they say.
Why are men like blenders?
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
Why are women so bad at mathematics?
Because men keep telling them that this (make gap with thumb and forefinger) is 9 inches.
What's a man's definition of a romantic evening?
Sex.
What is the only time a man thinks about a candlelight dinner?
When the power goes off.
What do men and women have in common?
They both distrust men.
How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts?
Guilt gifts are more...
Q. What's the speed limit of sex?
A. 68; at 69 you have to turn around.