Rider Jokes

A man walked out into the street in New York, and managed to flag down a taxi just driving by.
He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, " Perfect timing. You're just like Dave."
The passenger said, "Who?"
The cabbie said, "Dave Bronson. Now there's a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along just when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Dave."
The rider said, "Well, nobody's perfect."
The cabbie said, "Dave was. He was a terrific athlete. He could have gone on the pro tour in golf. He could have played tennis with the best pros. He sang like an opera baritone, and danced like a Broadway star. He had a memory like a trap. Could remember everybody's birthday. He could fix anything, not like me. If I change even a fuse, I black out the whole neighborhood."
The rider said, "No wonder you remember him."
The cabbie said, "Well, no I never actually met Dave."
The more...

A foursome of elderly gentlemen went to the bar after a round of golf where the new Pro asked them "How did your game go today?" The first said he had a good round with 25 riders. The second said he did OK with 16 riders. The third said not too bad since I had 10 riders. The fourth was disappointed and said that he played badly with only two riders. The Pro was confounded by this term "rider" but not wanting to show his ignorance just smiled and wish them better golf the next time. He then approached Jerry the bartender and asked "Can you tell me what does this term' riders' mean?" He smiled and explained that a "rider" is when you have hit a shot long enough to take a ride on a golf cart.

A man was talked into going horseback riding--something he didn't want to do because he once dreamed he would die in the saddle. The owner of the stables told him that the horse he would be riding would, on its own, take him along the trails leading in and out of the forests, through the fields and eventually back to the stables.

The owner told the nervous rider that there were only two things he had to remember. The first was that if he wanted the horse to go forward, he had to say, "Thank God" and if he wanted the horse to stop, all he had to say was "Hallelujah".

About an hour into his ride, the horse suddenly bolted down a field which, at the end of the field, was a deep chasm in which the bottom was two hundred feet from the top of the cliff.

The rider yelled, "Whoa" but naturally that didn't work. As the horse was about to leap into the chasm, the rider yelled, "Hallelujah" and the horse stopped right at more...

This subway rider is:

a. wearing an all-leather Islamic veil

b. in a cozy sleeping bag

c. expecting to be arrested soon and wants to be ready for the perp-walk

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion.
It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a frim grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.
The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again.
As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when...
The Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut off the horse!