Harley Jokes

A
guy is in the market for a used motorcycle. He always
wanted a big Harley. He shops around, answering ads
in the newspaper, and is not having much luck. One day
he comes across a beautiful classic Harley with a for
sale" sign on it. Upon inspection, he is amazed
to find the bike in mint condition. He inquires about
it with the owner.
"This bike is beautiful! I'll take it. But you
gotta tell me how you keep it in such good shape.
"Well," says the seller, "it's pretty
simple. Just make sure that if the bike is outside
and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome.
It protects it from the rain. In
fact, since you're buying the bike I won't need my
tube of Vaseline anymore. Here, you can have it."
and he hands the buyer a tube of Vaseline.
The guy buys the bike and off he goes, a happy biker.
He takes the bike over to show his girlfriend. She's
ecstatic (being a Harley more...

Darrell the banjo picker's canonical list of Banjo Jokes...
(You've been warned)
Approved for all audiences
o What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)...
A. onion
No one cries when you cut up a banjo.
(b.) Uzi
An Uzi only repeats forty times.
(c.) chain saw
A chain saw has a dynamic range
and you can turn a chain saw off.
(d.) Harley Davidson motorcycle
You can tune a Harley.
(e.) Trampoline
You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.
o Playing the banjo is a lot like throwing a javelin blindfolded...you don't
have to be very good to get people's attention.
o What did the banjo player get on his IQ (or SAT) test?
Drool...
o Why do some people take an instant aversion to banjo players?
It saves time in the long run.
o What will you never say about a banjo player?
That's the banjo player's Porsche.
o Banjo players are a lot like sharks-they think they have to keep playing or
they more...

Why Men Always Have Opinions, Even On Subjects They Know Nothing About In the animal kingdom, males
exhibit what is known as "display behavior" in order to attract females and to ward off rival males.
They thrust out their chests, ruffle their plummage, and generally try to appear more impressive than
they really are. On nature shows, this is comic. It appears comic, too, when it shows up among
humans: the guy in the Camaro with all the gold chains, say, or Vanilla Ice's haircut. It has been
discovered that display behavior is much more common among humans than had been previously believed.
Have you ever wondered why:
Men who have never been west of Kentucky can tell you about the mentality of the Japanese?
Men who can't pay their credit-card bills have a plan for dealing with the national debt?
Men who aren't on speaking terms with their families know how to achieve peace in the Middle
East?
Men who flunked high-school more...

I think the war between the smokers and non-smokers is heating up a bit. I went into a restaurant for
lunch the other day and, as is my practice, requested a table in the ``no smoking'' section. They
seated me, and I went about the business of ordering and eating my food.
Somewhere between the clam chowder and a club sandwich, I caught the smell of nearby burning tobacco.
Upon looking around, I noticed the man in the booth next to me smoking a freshly lit cigarette.
Overcoming my natural reticence regarding confrontation, I spoke to the man. ``Excuse me, sir, but,
when you came in, did you ask to be seated in the no-smoking section?''
"Yes, I don't like the smell of smoke when I am eating any more than anyone else."
I asked, "Then why are you smoking that cigarette?"
"I've finished eating."
Silly me, it was obvious to the most casual observer.
I called the server over and made her aware of the more...

They had been having a few beers at the bar together recounting old times when the call of nature caused them to line up at the same time, still deep in conversation. But Fred could hardly ignore the fact that Chas was very well endowed.

"I say, that's a remarkable donger you have there old boy," Fred was prompted to remark.

"Wasn't always that way," replied Chas. "Medical science can do wonders with transplants these days," he said. "I got this done over in Harley St, England. Cost a thousand bucks, but as you can see, well worth every cent."

Fred was envious. In fact, he packed his bag that night and flew off to the Old Dart first thing.

It was a good six months later before he ran into his old friend once again and Fred could hardly wait to tell him that he had taken his advice and was well pleased with the result.

"But Chas, I will tell you something else," said Fred. "You more...