Harley Jokes / Recent Jokes

I think the war between the smokers and non-smokers is heating up a bit. I went into a restaurant for
lunch the other day and, as is my practice, requested a table in the ``no smoking'' section. They
seated me, and I went about the business of ordering and eating my food.
Somewhere between the clam chowder and a club sandwich, I caught the smell of nearby burning tobacco.
Upon looking around, I noticed the man in the booth next to me smoking a freshly lit cigarette.
Overcoming my natural reticence regarding confrontation, I spoke to the man. ``Excuse me, sir, but,
when you came in, did you ask to be seated in the no-smoking section?''
"Yes, I don't like the smell of smoke when I am eating any more than anyone else."
I asked, "Then why are you smoking that cigarette?"
"I've finished eating."
Silly me, it was obvious to the most casual observer.
I called the server over and made her aware of the more...

Top 10 signs that a computer is owned by a Harley rider:
10. - The monitor & CPU have been repainted orange and black.
09. - System sound effects now play a Harley kicking over when a program starts.
08. - There's an oil stain on the floor just below the computer.
07. - Number key pad only goes up to two.
06. - Password is "WillieG".
05. - The mouse is referred to as "the Rat".
04. - There is a Skoal can mounted in the CD-ROM drive.
03. - Expansion slots have Genuine Harley-Davidson bike parts installed in them.
02. - The keyboard is mounted at the level of the user's chin and his seat tilts backward - ape-hanger keyboard!
And the Number 1 sign that a computer is owned by a Harley rider:
01. - A half-naked, big-breasted "warrior princess" and her tiger have been airbrushed onto the sides of the monitor!

Arthur Davidson of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, dies and goes to heaven. At the gates, an angle tells Davidson, "Well, you've
been such a good guy and your motorcycles have changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone you want to in Heaven."
Davidson thinks about it and says, "I wanna hang out with God, Himself".
The befeathered fellow at the Gates takes Arthur to the Throne Room and introduces him to God.
Arthur then asks God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of Woman?"
God says " Ah, yes."
"Well," says Davidson, "You have some major flaws in your invention.
Number 1 is there's too much front end protrusion, secondly, it chatters at high speeds, number 3 the rear end wobbles too much, and fourth the intake is placed too close to the exhaust."
"Hmmmmm...." replies God, "hold on." God goes to the Celestial Super computer, types in a few keystrokes, more...

The inventor of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, Arthur
Davidson, died and went to heaven.
At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven."
Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to
hang out with God."
St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God. Arthur then asked God,
"Hey, aren't you the inventor of woman?"
God said, "Ah, yes."
"Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:
1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion.
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds.
3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much.
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust.
5. And the maintenance costs are more...

A little old lady wanted to join a motorcycle gang. She knocked on the door of the local biker club and a big, hairy, bearded guy with tattoos all over his arms answers the door.

"I want to join your biker club," she proclaims.

The amused biker told her that she needed to meet certain requirements before she was allowed to join. First he asks, "You have a bike?"

"Yeah," the little old lady says, pointing to a Harley parked in the driveway. "That's my Harley over there."

"Hmmm," the biker replies. "Do you smoke?"

"Yeah, I smoke," says the little old gal. "I smoke 4 packs of cigarettes a day and a couple of cigars while I'm shooting pool." The biker is impressed and asks, "Well, have you ever been picked up by the Fuzz?"

The little old lady thinks for a moment, then she says, "No,never been picked up by the fuzz. But I have been more...

There's this guy who's in the market for a used motorcycle. Always wanted a nice big hog. So he's shopping around, answering ads in the newspaper,and not having much luck. One day he comes across a beautiful classic harley with a "for sale" sign on it. Upon inspection, he is amazed to find the bike in mint condition. He inquires about it with the owner: "This bike is beautiful!! I'll take it. But you gotta tell me how you keep it in such good shape."
"Well," says the seller, "it's pretty simple. Just make sure that if the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain. In fact, since you're buying the bike I won't need my tube of vaseline anymore. Here, you can have it." and he hands the buyer a tube of vaseline.
So the guy buys the bike and off he goes, a happy biker. He takes the bike over to show his girlfriend. She's ecstatic (being a harley fan). That night, he decides to ride the more...

The founder of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven.
At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "You've been a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world.
Your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven."
Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God."
St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God. God recognized Arthur and commented,
"So you were the one who invented the Harley Davidson motorcycles, eh?"
Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me..." God commented, "Well, what's the big deal about inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution, and can't run without a road!?!"
Arthur was embarrassed, but finally spoke, "Excuse me but aren't you the inventor of woman???"
God said, "Ah, yes."
"Well," said Arthur, "Professional to more...