Rifle Jokes / Recent Jokes

Note: This is an exact replication of National Public Radio (NPR) interview
between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald, who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! that's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?"
GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see how; we will be teaching them proper rifle
discipline before they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
GENERAL REINWALD: Well, you're 'equipped' to be a prostitute, but you're not one, more...

Note: This is an extract of a National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.
INTERVIEWER: " So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?"
GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting."
INTERVIEWER: "Shooting! that's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?"
GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range."
INTERVIEWER: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?"
GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see how,....we will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm."
INTERVIEWER: "But you're equipping them to become violent killers."
GENERAL REINWALD: "Well, you're equipped to more...

One of Microsoft's finest techs was sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all of his attempts had completely missed the target. The Microsoft tech looked at his rifle and then at the target again. He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again. He put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was completely blown off: The Microsoft tech yelled toward the target area: "It's leaving here just fine. The trouble must be at your end!"

Note: This is an extract of a National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.INTERVIEWER: " So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?"GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting."INTERVIEWER: "Shooting! that's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?"GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range."INTERVIEWER: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?"GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see how,....we will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm."INTERVIEWER: "But you're equipping them to become violent killers."GENERAL REINWALD: "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are more...

Here is a segment from a National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Marine Corps General
Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.

GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.

GENERAL REINWALD: Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?

It was decided by Microsoft during a brilliant brainstorming session that military service would improve the skills and discipline of their finest technician. So off to boot camp he went.

At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets.

He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.

The Microsoft tech looked at his rifle and then at the target again.

"Hmmm.," he thought, "I'll get to the bottom of this in no time."

He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again. He pointed his still loaded rifle at the ground in front of him and fired. A cloud of dust kicked up, and a little dimple was left there in the dust.

"Yep, it's working," he concluded.

The technician yelled out to the others at the target end, "The rifle is in working order, and the bullet seems to be more...

Chet Wolford tells this one:
An Erie, Pennsylvania executive with a new young wife and a yen for golf
decided about December one year that he couldn't take it any longer. So he
said to his wife one evening, "Honey, next Friday we're going to Hilton Head
for the weekend. We'll get a condo on the golf course and I'm going to play
golf all weekend."
"That sounds fine," she purred. And, sure enough, next Saturday morning at 6
a.m., found him on the golf course, all alone. After playing two holes, he
noticed a man carrying a golf bag walking toward him across a fairway. The
exec. waited, and the other man arrived, saying, "Mind if I play along?"
The exec. said, "Fine. Glad to have the company."
All went well for a couple of holes, until each approached the sixth green.
When the new fellow laid down his clubs, the cover came off one club. The
exec. noticed, however, that it wasn't a club at all. It more...