Rites Jokes

Preserving the Egg of LifeObviously, Football is a syndrome of religious rites symbolizing thestruggle to preserve the Egg of Life through the rigors of impendingwinter. The rites begin at the Autumn Equinox and culminate on thefirst day of the New Year, with great festivals identified with bowlsof plenty. The festivals are associated with flowers such as roses;fruits such as oranges; farm crops such as cotton; and even sun-worshipand appeasement of great reptiles such as alligators.In these rites, the Egg of Life is symbolized by what is called"The Oval", an inflated bladder covered with hog skin. The conventionof "The Oval" is repeated in the architectural oval-shaped design ofthe vast outdoor churches in which the services are held every sabbathin every town and city. Also every Sunday in the greater centers ofpopulation where an advanced priesthood performs. These enormouschurches dominate every college campus; no other edifice compares insize with them, and more...

Preserving the Egg of LifeObviously, Football is a syndrome of religious rites symbolizing thestruggle to preserve the Egg of Life through the rigors of impendingwinter. The rites begin at the Autumn Equinox and culminate on thefirst day of the New Year, with great festivals identified with bowlsof plenty. The festivals are associated with flowers such as roses; fruits such as oranges; farm crops such as cotton; and even sun-worshipand appeasement of great reptiles such as alligators. In these rites, the Egg of Life is symbolized by what is called"The Oval", an inflated bladder covered with hog skin. The conventionof "The Oval" is repeated in the architectural oval-shaped design ofthe vast outdoor churches in which the services are held every sabbathin every town and city. Also every Sunday in the greater centers ofpopulation where an advanced priesthood performs. These enormouschurches dominate every college campus; no other edifice compares insize with them, and more...

A man was lying on the sidewalk after being struck by a bus on a busy city street, with a crowd of spectators gathered around him.
"A priest," gasped the man, "Please, someone get me a priest."
A policeman checked the crowd, but there was no priest, no minister, no man of God of any kind.
"A priest, please," the injured man repeated. Suddenly, an elderly man stepped out of the crowd.
"Officer," the old man said, "I'm not a priest, nor am I even a Catholic, but I have lived behind St. Mary's Catholic Church for over fifty years, and I have listened to the Catholic rites every night. Perhaps I can be of some comfort to this man."
The policeman agreed and brought the old man over to the victim. The old man knelt down on the sidewalk, leaned over the injured man, and in a solemn voice said, "B-9, I-21, N-34, G-51, O-68."