Roots Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day I decided to quit.... I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality.. ..
I wanted to quit my life.
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.
"God", I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"
His answer surprised me...
"Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"
"Yes", I replied.
"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them.
I gave them light. I gave them water.

The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor.
Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.

In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.
And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo".

He said. "In the third year, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.
But I would not more...

What is the difference between Yankee fans and dentists?One roots for the yanks, and the other yanks for the roots.

...Author Alex Haley's grandchildren are writing a sequel to the best selling book "Roots"...the new book will deal with a previously unknown homosexual branch of the Haley family who remained behind in Africa....the new book will be called "Froots."

Q: What is the difference between Yankee fans and dentists?
A: One roots for the yanks, and the other yanks for the roots.

You know you are addicted to your Italian roots when...
You pay the paperboy with LIRA
You answer your neighbors by grunting and saying, "No speaka Engleesh!"
You tell people that Raffaele, Michelangelo and Donatello of Ninja Turtle fame are your first cousins.
You start calling your wife Gina and tell her you'll be happy to pay for breast enlargements.
You carry Italian road maps in your glove compartment
You can recite the name of every province in Italy in 2 minutes (and you can spell them in 4 minutes).
You get arrested at the Mall after the police don't accept your explanation that Italians are overcome by a natural urge to pinch buttocks after 22 women identity you
You leave work at 10 AM because it's quitting time in Rome.
You call WPIX-TV in NYC to ask why the Yankee announcers ARE speaking English
You spray paint over the chrome "Buick" emblem on your automobile and write "FIAT" in 12 inch letters
You more...