Roses Jokes / Recent Jokes
You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.
A woman tells her doctor she would like to have an operation because her vagina lips are much too large. She asks the doctor to keep the operation a secret as she's very embarrassed and doesn't want anyone to find out. The doctor agrees.
When she awakens after the operation she finds three roses carefully placed on the table beside her bed. Outraged, she immediately calls the doctor and shouts, "I thought I told you to keep my operation a secret!"
"Don't worry," the doctor says, reassuringly. "I didn't tell a soul."
"Then where did these roses come from?" she asks.
"The first is from me," explains the doctor. "I felt very bad because you went through all of this by yourself. The second is from my nurse. She assisted me with the operation and understands what you're going through since she's had it done herself."
"Well, who's the third rose from?" the woman asks.
"The third one is from more...
On impulse, the young man stopped at the flower shop and purchased a dozen roses for his girlfriend. When he presented them to her, she immediately tore off all her clothes and leaped onto the couch. "This will be for the flowers," she announced, stretching languorously. "Oh, come, now," he replied. "Surely you have a vase somewhere in this apartment."
Roses are #FF0000, violets are #0000FF, all of my base are belong to you.
A kind-hearted fellow was walking through Central Park in New York
and was astonished to see an old man, fishing rod in hand, fishing
over a beautiful bed of red roses.
"Tsk Tsk!" said the passerby to himself. "What a sad sight. That
poor old man is fishing over a bed of flowers. I'll see if I can
help." So the kind fellow walked up to the old man and asked,
"What are you doing, my friend?"
"Fishin', sir."
"Fishin', eh. Well how would you like to come have a drink with
me?"
The old man stood, put his rod away and followed the kind stranger
to the corner bar. He ordered a large glass of vodka and a fine
cigar.
His host, the kind fellow, felt good about helping the old man,
and he asked, "Tell me, old friend, how many did you catch today?"
The old fellow took a long drag on the cigar, blew a careful smoke
ring and more...