Rubber Jokes / Recent Jokes

Sven & Ole, a couple of Norwegians now living in Minnesota, head for the fair in Duluth. The first thing to catch Sven's eye is the big double Ferris wheel.
"Oh, Ole," he says, "vould you look at dat. I've always vanted to go on von of dose big Ferris veels. Let's go ride on dat von."
Ole, not being near as adventurous as Sven says, "Oh, I don't tink so. Dat looks kind of dangerous to me." "Vell," says Sven, "you give me yust von good reason vhy you von't go vit me on dat ride."
Ole couldn't come up with a good reason so up they went. Ole had to admit after the ride that it was kind of fun.
After another 10 or 15 minutes they came to the roller coaster. "Oh Ole," says Sven, "Vould you look at dat. Dat's von fine looking roller coaster. I tink ve should go for a ride' on dat."
"Oh, I don't tink so." says Ole. "Dat looks very dangerous to me."
"Vell," says Sven. more...

After each question, your say: "Rubber Jugs and Liquor".
Q: What did you have for breakfast?
A: Rubber Jugs and Liquor!
Q: What did you have for lunch?
A: Rubber Jugs and Liquor!
Q: What did you have for supper?
A: Rubber Jugs and Liquor!...
Q: What would you do if you saw a hot chick walking down the street?
hee-hee hoo-hoo haa-haa!

After each question, your say: "Rubber Jugs and Liquor".Q: What did you have for breakfast? A: Rubber Jugs and Liquor! Q: What did you have for lunch? A: Rubber Jugs and Liquor! Q: What did you have for supper? A: Rubber Jugs and Liquor!... Q: What would you do if you saw a hot chick walking down the street? hee-hee hoo-hoo haa-haa!

A big-time executive walked into a bar and sat down next to a drunk who was
studying, something in his hand. The executive leaned close as the drunk held
the object up to the light. "Well, it looks like plastic," the drunk said. Then
he rolled it around in his fingers and added, "And it feels like rubber."
Curious, the executive asked, "What do you have there?"
The drunk shook his head, "Damned if I know. It looks like plastic and feels
like rubber."
The executive said, "Let me take a look." He examined it, rolled it between his
fingers and said, "Yeah, you're right. It does look like plastic and feels like
rubber, but I don't know what it is. Where did you get it?"
The drunk replied, "Out of my nose."

One day, an actress from Hollywood was driving her Eldorado Cadillac through the backroads of Georgia when she spotted two young guys out in a field plowing. Being very horney, she immediately pulled her car over onto a dirt road and motioned for the two guys to come to her.
Once they arrived at her car, she asked them, "How are you boys doing today?"
"Fine, ma'am," they replied, "Just fine, thanks. Can we help you with something?"
She then informed them that she was indeed feeling very amourous and asked if they thought they could help her out.
"Oh yes, ma'am!" they both exclaimed, looking excited at this proposition.
"Good," she then said. "One of you go ahead and get in the backseat of my car and we'll get started."
So, the first guy got into the backseat of her Cadillac and proceeded to begin when all of a sudden she stopped and said, "Here, put this on."
"What is more...

Boy, it really galls my threads when these ignoramuses go off about how the Corvette crowd is 'over-restoring' cars! I say, restored means *exactly* as the factory did it, no matter what. I spent 95 weeks last year doing an accurate and complete ground-up restoration on my '67. And, let me tell you, some of those rubber and glass pieces are *really* hard to restore after grinding them up! Thankfully, the metal pieces are easy to remelt and form.
For some folks, simply applying a bit of overspray while painting is 'good enough.' I scoff at this. I meticulously copied onto the mufflers, droplet by droplet, the exact overspray pattern that was there originally. Even the runs and sags at the bottom of the door panels were duplicated. Your average 'restorer' will just slap some new paint on, calling it 'original' if it is the same color. Jeeez. I chemically removed every vestige of *the original paint*, then broke it down, reformulated it, and re-applied it. Sure, I had to use more...