Rushes Jokes / Recent Jokes

As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She hops out of her car, rushes up to his truck, and knocks on the window. The trucker lowers his window and she says, "Hi, my name is Julie and you're losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.
When the trucker stops for another red light, the same blonde catches up, jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the window. Once more, the trucker lowers his window. Acting as if they've never spoken, the blonde cheerfully says, "Hi, my name is Julie and you're losing some of your load." Again, the trucker ignores her and continues down the street.
At the third red light, the same thing happens again. Panting, the blonde jumps out of her car, rushes up to his truck, and knocks on the window. The trucker lowers his window and she again says, "Hi, my name is Julie and you're losing some of your load!"
As soon as the light turns green, the more...

A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.

"What's the matter?" he says. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"

The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.

"You rotten scum," says the husband, "my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids."

A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.' What's up?' he says.' I'm having a heart attack,' cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialling. his four-year-old son comes up and says, `Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your wardrobe and he's got no clothes on!' The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the wardrobe floor.' You jerk,' yells the husband,' my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around with no clothes on scaring the kids!'

10 year old Johnny's mother, who was a hard working single mom, had been promising for some time now to buy poor Johnny a bike. Johnny, who loved his Momma dearly, hadn't made a big deal about it for a long time, but suddenly decided NOW was the right time to ask. So he rushes downstairs to tell his Momma that he wanted his bike and he wanted it now. He gets downstairs, looks around, doesn't see his mother, so he rushes back upstairs, opens the door to his mother's room and stops dead in his tracks,' cause there was his Momma, laying stark naked on her bed, rubbing herself all over repeating " Oh, I need a man, Ohhh I need a man." Johnny, who was naturally a little stunned by the sight, backs quietly out the door and goes back to his room. Well, a few days passes and Johnny works up the nerve to once again tell his Mother that he wants his bike and he wants it NOW. So he rushes downstairs, doesn't see his mother, he rushes upstairs, opens Momma's door and there once again more...

10 year old Johnny's mother, who was a hard working single mom, had been promising for some time now to buy poor Johnny a bike.Johnny, who loved his Momma dearly, hadn't made a big deal about it for a long time, but suddenly decided NOW was the right time to ask. So he rushes downstairs to tell his Momma that he wanted his bike and he wanted it now.He gets downstairs, looks around, doesn't see his mother, so he rushes back upstairs, opens the door to his mother's room and stops dead in his tracks, 'cause there was his Momma, laying stark naked on her bed, rubbing herself all over repeating " Oh, I need a man, Ohhh I need a man."Johnny, who was naturally a little stunned by the sight, backs quietly out the door and goes back to his room.Well, a few days passes and Johnny works up the nerve to once again tell his Mother that he wants his bike and he wants it NOW. So he rushes downstairs, doesn't see his mother, he rushes upstairs, opens Momma's door and there once again was more...

Mister Smith rushes into the maternity ward, "What's wrong? What's the emergency?" "Oh, Mister Smith, your child was just born and I have someterrible news for you. It's disfigured." "Well, how bad is it? Can I see?" "Follow me, sir." They head down a restricted corridor and come to the firstdoor. Inside, in the respirator, is a newborn child without arms. Mister Smith is upset, "Oh my God! How terrible to be born this way!"The nurse interrupts, "No Mister Smith, that isn't your child. Follow me, please." They come to another room and there lies a newborn with no arms OR legs. Mister Smith cries, "Oh dear God! What could be worse than this?" "No mister Smith, that's not your child. Follow me." Next room down, Smith looks in. This kid is only a head. No body at all." Oh my God! How awful! What could be worse than this?" "Not your child, sir. Follow me." One more room left in the hall. more...

A man is in a bar and has a couple of drinks. The bartender tells him that he owes $10.
"But, bartender," the man says, "I already paid you! Don't you remember?"
"Well, okay," replies the bartender, "if you say you've already paid, then I guess you have."
The man goes outside, approaches the first person he sees, and tells him that the bartender can't seem to keep track of whether his customers have paid or not. On hearing that, the second man rushes into the bar, orders a beer, and then pulls the same stunt on the bartender.
"Okay," says the bartender, "if you say you've already paid, then I guess you have."
The second man goes outside, sees a friend, and tells him how to get free drinks.
The third man rushes into the bar and starts gulping down one drink after the other. A short time later, the bartender leans over and says, "You know, a funny thing happened in here tonight. Two men were more...