Russian Jokes / Recent Jokes

A new American ambassador was being entertained by an African diplomat. They'd spent the day discussing what the country had received from theRussians before the new government kicked them out. "The Russians builtus a power plant, a highway, and an airport. Plus, we learned to drinkvodka and play Russian roulette."The American frowned. "Russian roulette's not a very nice game." Thediplomat smiled. "That's why we developed African roulette. If youwant to have good relations with our country, you'll have to play."I'll show you how."He pushed a buzzer, and a moment later, six magnificently built, nudewomen were ushered in. "You can choose any one of those women to giveyou oral sex," he told the American."That's great," the ambassador said, "but it doesn't seem much likeRussian roulette.""Oh, it is. One of them is a cannibal."

3 scientists happen to meet each other by chance at a party, an American, a Russian, and a Pakistani.

They boast their country`s science achievements. The Russian says: We were the 1st ones in space,
the American says, we were the 1st to go to moon,
The Pakistani thinks hard and says: we will be 1st ones on the sun!

Both the American and Russian start laughing, and say to the Pakistani, you stupid the sun is too hot, your spaceship will burn b4 it reaches the sun.

The Pakistan scientist remains cool and calm, and says: You are stupid. We will go there at night!!!

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, “We were the first in space! ” The American said, “We were the first on the moon! ”
The Blonde said, “So what, we’re going to be the first on the sun! The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. “You can’t land on the sun, you idiot! You’ll burn up! ” said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, “We’re not stupid, you know. We’re going at night! ”

The dazed crew of a Japanese Trawler were recovered off the Sea of Japan clinging to the wreckage of their ship.

Their rescue, however, was followed by immediate imprisonment once authorities questioned the sailors on their ship's loss.

They claimed that a cow, falling out of the clear blue sky, had struck the trawler amidships, shattering it's hull and sinking the vessel within minutes.

They remained in prison for several weeks, until the Russian Air Force reluctantly informed Japanese authorities that the crew of one of its cargo planes had apparently stolen a cow wandering at the edge of a Siberian airfield.

They forced the cow into the plane's hold and hastily departed for home.

Unprepared for live cargo, the Russian crew was ill-equipped to manage a rampaging cow within its hold. To save the aircraft and themselves, they shoved the animal out of the cargo hold as they crossed the Sea of Japan at an altitude of 30, 000 feet.

Q: How many Russian leaders does it take to change a light bulb? A: Nobody knows. Russian leaders don't last as long as light bulbs. A: None, the old bulb is just suffering from a cold.

An American man, a Russian man, and an African man were all up in a hot-air balloon together. After a few minutes, the Russian man put his hand down through the clouds. "Aaah!" he said. "We're right over my homeland.""How can you tell?" asked the American."I can feel the cold air." he replied.A few hours later the African man put his hand through the clouds. "Aah we're right over my homeland." he said."How do you know that?" asked the Russian. "I can feel the heat of the desert."Several more hours later the American put his hand through the clouds. "Aah, we're right over New York."The Russian and the African were amazed. "How do you know all of that?" they exclaimed.The American pulled his hand up. "My watch is missing."

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.

The Russian said,' We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"