Saddam Jokes / Recent Jokes

Saddam Hussein's stockpile is deadly. The smoke from his biological weapons could mix with sulfur from his chemical weapons and create an atmospheric condition known as Los Angeles.

Saddam's doctor called a meeting of all the Saddam's doubles
Men, I've got some good news and I've got some bad news
The good news is, Saddam is still alive
The bad news is, he lost an arm

Thanks to Victor for this joke, laughed so hard I fell over...
Since I couldn? t find a good drinking game for the upcoming Presidential debates online, I decided to write one myself.

There are three parts to this game. The first section applies to either candidate, and the next two are specific to John Kerry or George W. Bush.

Part A? Either Candidate
Have a small drink or a gulp of beer if either candidate says?..
a. Iran
b. Iraq
c. North Korea
d. Afghanistan
e. Sudan
f. Libya
g. Axis of Evil
h. Gay Marriage
i. United Nations
j. Tax Cuts

Have a larger drink, or shot of booze if either candidate says??
a. Saddam Hussein
b. Osama Bin Ladden
c. Al Qaeda
d. September 11th or 9/11 or World Trade Center
e. WMD / Weapons of Mass Destruction
f. Homeland Security
g. Nuclear Proliferation
h. If either candidate doesn? t answer the question given to more...

The President is meeting with Saddam Hussein regarding the recent crisis. They are meeting in Hussein's Baghdad capital, and halfway through the meeting Hussein hits a button on his armrest. A fake arm flies out and hits Clinton in the face.
A little while later he hits another button and Clinton ducks, only to be kicked in the butt. A while later, this happens again. Clinton is angry, calls a break, and they decide to meet again later, in Washington.
When Hussein comes to DC, they sit in Clinton's office. A few minutes into the discussions, Clinton hits a button, Hussein ducks, but nothing happens. A few minutes later, Clinton hits another button, Hussein ducks again, but still nothing happens. This happens a third time, and Hussein, by this point, is angry and paranoid.
He gets up and shouts "Enough of this! I'm going back to Baghdad!"
Clinton looks up and displays a funny-looking smirk to the Iraqi leader. Then quite calmly replies, "What more...

Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him, "Bill, I had awonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole beautifulcountry, and on each house I saw a banner.""What did it say on the banners?" Clinton asks. Saddam replies, "Allah is god, god is Allah."Clinton says, "You know, Saddam, I am really happy you called. Last night I had a similar dream. I could see all of Baghdad, and it was more beautiful than ever. It had been rebuilt completely, and on each house flew an enormous banner.""What could you see on the banners?" Saddam asks. Clinton replies, "I dont know. I cant read Hebrew."

You are stuck in a foxhole with a cobra, Saddam Hussein, a lawyer, and only two bullets in your gun. What do you do? Shoot the lawyer twice.

What's an innunedo? An Italian hemorrhoid prepareation.
What do you call a good looking girl on the campus of Clemson University? A visitor.
Iraq, a good place to take a shiite.
New rules for poker in Los Angeles - four clubs beat a king.
Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liner? So men can understand them.
What's the difference between Gov't bonds and men? Gov't bond eventually mature.
What did God say after he created man? "I can do better than this..."
What's the best thing to come out of a peter? The wrinkles.
What's the difference between 'light' and 'hard'? You can sleep with the light on.
What's the difference between 'dark' and 'hard'? It stays dark all night.
What does a man consider to be a 7-course meal? A hot dog and a six-pack.
What's the difference between Saddam Hussein and a bucket of shit? The bucket.
What do Nagasaki, Hiroshima and Baghdad have in common. Nothing, yet.
What do Saddam Hussein and Little Miss more...