Sailor Jokes / Recent Jokes

A young convent girl got married to a sailor. They had a lovely sex life for several months. She met an old friend who told her that she and her boyfriend have sex in the missionary position. The girl related this to her sailor husband and suggested having sex in this kinky way. "What" he screams "and have bloody kids running around the place".

Pop-I the Sailor Man ToT ToT
Lives in a garbage can ToT ToT
Turned on the heeter and
Burnt of his peter
Pop-I the Sailor Man ToT ToT

Pop-I the Sailor Man Tot-Tot
Lives in a Garbage can Tot-Tot
He turned on the heeter and
Burnt off his peter
Pop-I the Sailor Man Tot-Tot!!!

There's this fellow with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy. One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever. Then the guy gets mad and says, "OK for you," and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invectives that would make a veteran sailor blush. At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer. For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets VERY quiet. At first the guy just waits, but then he starts more...

The wife in an older couple is distraught because her aging husband's um
... little sailor doesn't salute anymore. She goes to her doctor and
explains the situation.

The doctor thinks for a bit and says, "I wouldn't usually prescribe this,
but since your husband won't live that much longer anyway... Here's a
prescription. Give him three drops in a glass of milk before he goes to
bed." The wife leaves, thanking the doctor profusely.

Two weeks later, the woman shows up at the doctor's office and he asks her
how it went. The lady blushes and says, "Well, I squirted thirty drops in
his milk by accident, and ummmm, well,... now we need an antidote so we can
close the coffin!"

1.) You listen to it before you go to sleep 2.) You have you favorite songs in Mp2, Mp3, wav, and midi format 3.) You know the name of the song by hearing the first ten seconds of the song 4.) You tell your friends that Minmei is a bigger pop star then Michael Jackson and your friends point at you and laugh and say "Ha Michael Jackson" 5.) You go to Japan just to buy the Robot Carnival soundtrack 6.) You have all the Sailor Moon CDs 7.) You go to Japan and the only anime soundtrack that you bought is the North American Sailor Moon CD 8.) Somebody asked you if you listen to Smashing Pumpkins and you ask them what anime did they do 9.) You buy a CD player just for those Ranma CDs, love that Doco 10.) You have arguments which female band is sexier Spice Girls, En Vogue, or Doco 11.) You can actually say which member of Doco sounds better (Megumi Hayashibara in my opinion) 12.) J-pop is next on your list 13.) Zip disk and Jaz disks filled with anime music that you downloaded more...

A beautiful young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean.

But just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young sailor stopped her.

"You have so much to live for," said the sailor. "Look, I'm off to Europe tomorrow and I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy."

With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Europe, the woman accepted.

That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches and make love to her until dawn.

Three weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection."What are you doing here?" asked the captain.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He brings me food and I more...