Salary Jokes / Recent Jokes

Michael Jordan will make over $300,000 a game, $10,000 a minute assuming he averages about 30 minutes a game.
Assuming $40 mil in endorsements next year, he'll be making $178,100 a day (working or not)!
Assuming he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head.
If he goes to see Independence Day, it'll cost him $7.00, but he'll make $18,550 while he's there.
If he decides to have a 5 minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it.
He makes $7,415/hr more than minimum wage (after the wage hike)
He'll make $3,710 while watching each episode of Friends.
If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000) it would take him a whole 12 days.
If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2.00 every second.
A quickie will net him $1855.
He'll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be 'reimbursed' $33,390 for that more...

Dear Contributor:
The "NBA Player Adoption Program" desperately needs your charitable assistance. With an NBA player's strike against the team owners, now is the time for us to show the world just how much we really care. What those men are forced to endure -- it's just not right!
Hundreds of basketball players in our very own country are living at or just below the NBA seven-figure salary poverty line. And as if that weren't bad enough, they will be deprived of pay for several weeks-possibly a whole year!
But now you can help!
For only about $2,000.00 a day -- that's less than the cost of a large screen projection TV -- you can help keep an impoverished basketball player economically viable during his time of need.
$2,000.00 a day may not seem like a lot of money to you, but to an NBA basketball player it could mean the difference between a vacation spent golfing in bug-infested Florida or a life-renewing Mediterranean cruise.
For you, more...

It's just not right. Thousands of pilots in our very own country are living at or just below the six
figure salary line. And if that weren't bad enough, many of them may go several weeks or months
without a paycheck if they are forced by American Airlines management to strike. But now you can
help. For about three hundred dollars a day ~ that's less than the price of a 25" television set ~
you can help keep a pilot economically viable during their time of need.
Three hundred dollars a day may not seem like a lot of money to you, but to a pilot, it could mean
the difference between a vacation fishing in Florida or a Mediteranean cruise.
For you, three hundred dollars is nothing more than half a month's rent or mortgage payment. But to a
pilot, three hundred dollars a day will almost replace his or her salary.
Three hundred dollars a day will enable a pilot to upgrade his or her home computer, buy that new
100" television set, more...

THE NBA PLAYER ADOPTION PROGRAM NEEDS YOU! With an NBA player's strike against the team owners looming, now is the time for us to show the world just how much we care. It's just not right. Hundreds of basketball players in our very own country are living at or just below the seven-figure salary level! Atrocious! And, as if that weren't bad enough, they will be deprived of pay for several weeks--possibly a whole year--as a result of the strike. But now you can help! For about two thousand dollars a day--that's less than the cost of a large screen projection TV--you can help a basketball player remain economically viable during his time of need. Two thousand dollars a day may not seem like a lot of money to you, but to a basketball player it could mean the difference between a vacation spent golfing in Florida or a Mediterranean cruise. For you, two thousand dollars is nothing more than three months rent or mortgage payments. But to a basketball player, two thousand dollars a day will more...

An Indian politician went to the US to visit his counterpart. When the
senator invited him home for dinner, the minister was very impressed
by the lavish mansion, grounds and the costly furnishings. He asked
"How can you afford all this on a meagre senator's salary?"
The senator smiled knowingly and took him to the window.
"Can you see the river?"
"Yes"
"Can you see the bridge over it?"
"Of course", said the minister.
"10 percent", said the senator smugly.

Some time later, he had occasion to pay a return visit. The Indian
minister lavished all hospitality on him. When they came to his
house, the American was stunned by the huge palace the minister had
built, glittering with precious art, hundreds of servants etc. etc.
"How can you possibly afford this, on a salary in RS?', he asked.
The minister called him to the window.
"See the more...

An Indian politician went to the US to visit his counterpart. When the senator invited him home for dinner, the minister was very impressed by the lavish mansion, grounds and the costly furnishings.
He asked, "How can you afford all this on a meagre senator's salary?"
The sentaor smiled knowingly and took him to the window.
"Can you see the river?"
"Yes"
"Can you see the bridge over it?"
"Of course", said the minister.
"10 percent", said the senator smugly.
Some time later, he had occasion to pay a return visit. The Indian minister lavished all hospitality on him. When they came to his house, the American was stunned by the huge palace the minister had built, glittering with precious art, hundreds of servants etc etc.
"How can you possibly afford this, on a salary in Indian Rupees," he asked.
The minister called him to the window.
"See the river over more...

This is an actual job application someone submitted to McDonald's. They hired him. NAME - Greg Bulmash DESIRED POSITION - Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY - $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION - Yes. LAST POSITION HELD - Target for middle management hostility. SALARY - Less than I'm worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT - My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING - It sucked. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK - Any. PREFERRED HOURS - 1:30 - 3:30 pm, Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS? Of what? DO more...