Sales Jokes / Recent Jokes
Sales person: Hello, may I speak to the man of the house please? Youngster: (whispering) No, he's busy. Sales person: Well then, can I please speak to your mother? Youngster: (in a whisper) She's busy too. Sales person: I see, how about your brother or sister? Can I speak to him? Youngster: (whispering) No. They're both busy too. Sales person: (losing patience) Is there anybody else there I could talk to??? Youngster: (in a whisper) Yeah, the police are here... but they are busy too.... Sales person: ( by now quite exasperated) What are all these people doing that keeps them so busy?!!! Youngster: (still whispering) Looking for me.
Weill and Mahoney had started with only five hundred dollars between them, but they had built up a computer business with sales in the millions. Their company employed over two hundred people, and the two executives lived like princes.Almost overnight, things changed. Sales dropped sharply, former customers disappeared, and the business failed. Weill and Mahoney blamed each other for the troubles, and they parted on unfriendly terms. Five years later, Weill drove up to a decrepit diner and stopped for a cup of coffee. As he was wiping some crumbs from the table, a waiter approached. Weill looked up and gasped."Mahoney!" he said, shaking his head. "It's a terrible thing, seeing you working as a waiter in a place like this.""Yeah," Mahoney said, curling his lip. "But I don't eat here."
The bathroom scale manufacturer was very proud of the new model being introduced at the trade fair.
“Listen to these features: it’s calibrated to one-one-hundredth of a pound; it can measure your height as well, in feet or meters; it gives you a readout via an LED or human-voice simulator; and that’s not all…”
“Very impressive, ” interrupted a none-too-slender sales rep for a chain of home furnishings stores, “but before I place an order I’ll have to try it out. ”
“Be my guest, ” said the manufacturer graciously.
No sooner had the sales rep taken his place on the scale than a loud, very human-sounding voice issued forth: “One at a time, please, one at a time! ”
A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in the world - you could get anything there. The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?", Yes, I was a salesman in the country", said the lad.
The boss liked the cut of him and said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you. The day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally 5: 00 came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked, "How many sales did you make today?".
"One" said the young salesman.
"Only one?" blurted the boss. "Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth??.
"Three hundred thousand, three hundred and thirty four dollars" said the young man.
"How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss.
"Well", said the salesman "this man came in and I more...
A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in the area--you could get anything there.
The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?"
"Yes, I was a salesman in the country," said the lad.
The boss liked the cut of him and said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you when we close up."
The day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally 5 o'clock came around. The boss arrived and asked, "How many sales did you make today?"
"One," said the young salesman.
"Only one?" blurted the boss. "Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?"
"Thirty-eight thousand, three hundred and thirty-four dollars," said the young man.
"How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss.
"Well," said the salesman, "This man came in and more...
The sales manager was wrapping up her pep talk to new staff members. “Just remember this,” she said. “Always be sincere, whether you mean it or not.”
The tourist had lost his way on a back road and stopped at the farmhouse to ask if he could be put up for the night.' Well, we're a mite crowded, siknce there's already someone in the spare room,' replied the farmer.' But I guess you can stay if you don't mind sharing the bed with a red haired schoolteacher.'
'Look,' said the tourist,' I want you to know I'm a gentleman.'
'Well,' mused the farmer,' as far as I can tell, so is the red haired schoolteacher.'