Salesmen Jokes / Recent Jokes
"Is your mother home?" the salesman asked a small boy sitting on the steps in front of a house. "Yeah, shes home," the boy said, scooting over to let him past. The salesman rang the doorbell, got no response, knocked once, then again. Still no one came to the door. Turning to the boy, the fellow said, "I thought you said your mother was home." The kid replied, "She is; but this isnt where I live.
An insurance salesman was getting nowhere in his efforts to sell a policy to a farmer. "Look at it this way sir." he said finally. "How would your wife carry on if you should die? ""Well..." drawled the weather-beaten man, "I dont reckon thatd be any concern of mine -- long as she behaves herself while Im alive."
Salesman: This jug is genuine Indian pottery. Customer: But it says "Made in Cleveland."Salesman: Havent you ever heard of the Cleveland Indians?
UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
Bamber Gascoigne: What was Ghandi's first name?
Contestant: Goosey, Goosey?
THE WEAKEST LINK
Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet?
Contestant: Jool carriageway.
Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?
Contestant: Bombay.
Anne Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?
Contestant: Crocodiles.
Anne Robinson: Wh...?
Contestant (interrupting): Pass!
Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels, travelling
entertainers or chocolate salesmen?
Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.
Anne Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...?
Contestant: (long pause) Joe?
Anne Robinson: Who was a famous Indian leader, whose name begins with G, revered by millions, who was assassinated and received a state funeral?
Contestant: Geronimo!
NATIONAL LOTTERY JET more...
A man walked into the bar at a hotel that was hosting a convention of personal hygiene product salesmen. He sat down at a table with some of his brethren. Immediately one of the other salesmen accosted him: “Hey Bill! We were just talking about you. Your territory sucks! Nobody was ever able to make a living in it before you. But now, you son-of-a-bitch, you win the all-expense-paid trip to Vegas three years in a row, selling almost twice as much as anyone else in the whole Southwest region! How in the hell do you do it? ” Bill replied, “Its easy! I take a big engraved silver bowl and fill it up with fresh dogshit. Next I garnish it carefully with parsley sprigs, celery stalks, scallions, olives and thin-sliced red bell pepper rings. I take this to the airport and set it on a table on an elegantly embroidered white tablecloth. I serve samples on cocktail wafers to all who pass by. As soon as someone takes a bite they usually say ‘Jesus Christ!! This stuff tastes like SHIT!! more...
A policeman came upon a super-salesman about to jump from a bridge and yelled, "Wait, Fellow! Please dont do that! !!"The salesman said, "Why not? " and proceeded to expound on his views on the shaky economy, declining family life and Clinton politics. Shortly thereafter, they both jumped.
It seems that Abe and Morey, two salesmen for an advertising agency, were traveling together through the midwest, when they were caughtbetween towns during a driving snow storm.The further they went, the worse conditions got, and they finallyslid off into a ditch. Fortunately there was a house quite nearby.They waded through the drifts to the house, and after a shortconversation with the lady who answered the door, they were able toconvince her that they were no danger to her, and she let them come in.She prepared a meal for them, and during the conversation Abe andMorey learned that she was a widow of a few years standing.Conditions continued to deteriorate, and she prepared the guest roomfor Abe and Morey.The next day about 10:00 AM, a snowplow came through and helpfullypulled the salesmen's car our of the ditch, after cleaning the road.Abe and Morey thanked th widow Brown and went on their rounds.Nine months later, Abe called Morey, and asked if Morey had, by somechance, happened more...