Sally Jokes / Recent Jokes

Sally, pregnant with her first child, was paying a visit to her obstetrician's office. When the examination was over, she shyly said, "My husband wants me to ask you....."

"I know, I know," the doctor said, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I get asked this question all the time. And the answer is YES: Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy!"

"No, No, that's not it,....." Sally confessed.

"....He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn."

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Hi stranger, my name is Mike. I'll give you a free beer if you can guess the name of this bar in three tries."
The man says, "Thanks...Mike's Place?"
"Nope."
"Mike's Tavern?"
"No,"
"Mike's Pub?"
"No, but here's a free beer anyway. Nobody ever get's it. The joint's name is Sally's Leggs!
"That's a good one." the man says and proceeds to get royally ripped.
The next morning the man is still drunk and sitting on a curb, when a cop pulls up and ask's him what he is doing there. He responds, "I'm just waiting for Sally's Leggs to open, so I can wet my whistle!"

Crazy Sally went to her gynecologist when she got her vibrator stuck inside of her. "To remove that vibrator," said the doctor, "I'm going to have to perform a very long and delicate operation." "I don't think I can afford that," said Sally. "Could you just replace the batteries?"

Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good... mostly A's and a couple of B's. However, her teacher had written across the bottom: "Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit."
Sally's dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: "Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I would like to try it out on her mother."

One day, Sally and her mother were washing dishes. Susie noticed that her mother was starting to get a few white hairs.
"Mommy, Why do you have so many white hairs?" Sally asked?
"Well, when you do something bad or hurt my feelings, I get another white hair." her mom replied.
"Oh!" Sally said.
She thought for a few minutes, got a puzzled look on her face and then asked her mother, "Why is Grandma's hair all white?"

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.
Little Mary led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."
"Very good," said the teacher.
Little Sally was next: "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them abreast of current events."
"Very good, Sally," said the teacher.
Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn.
Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk."$2,467," he said.
"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?" "Tooth brushes," said Little Johnny.
"Tooth more...

Sally, goes on her first camping trip. Her husband, who was a Scout Leader, was sick so she volunteered to take over for him one weekend. So, she got everyone together and assigned different duties to each scout.

Gabby was responsible for the food supplies, Mike would be the cook this trip, Johnnie was responsible for their maps and making up a time schedule, Tim was to decide on their events, and to fit them into Johnnie's schedule and Sally would test all their equipment before setting out.

They arrived at Big Moose Mountain and everyone was excited. They arrived right on schedule and were getting ready for their first event - hiking up the mountain. But first, they wanted to get something to eat. So Sally asked Mike if he would prepare the meal and, of course, Mike said he would.

About 10 minutes later he came back and told Sally, "I can't make the supper. I can't light a fire with the matches you brought."

Sally replied, more...