Salmon Jokes / Recent Jokes

I caught a twenty pound salmon last week."
"Were there any witnesses?"
"There sure were. If there hadn't been, it would have been forty pounds."

Two Irishmen were walking down the street with two salmon each under their arms.
Two other Irishmen walking in the opposite direction see the two lucky fishermen and ask " how did you catch those? "
Well its like this! Michael here holds my legs over the bridge, and I grab the salmon as they swim up the river. We got four salmon A great days fishing!
So the fishless pair look at each other and agree to give it a try.
They get to the bridge and Sean calls to his friend "hold my legs now Paddy".
Well he is hanging there upside down for thirty minutes when he suddenly cries.. "pull me up, pull me up!!"
Paddy asks " do you have a fish Sean?"............
No replies Sean, "there's a bloody train coming!!!!!!!!"

MacAndrews was visiting his Irish cousin, O'Bannon. While there he decided to do a bit of fishing. As he sat there on afternoon, his cousin walked by." What are ye doing?" asked O'Bannon." Fishin'," said MacAndrews." Caught anything?" "Ach, nae a bite,""What are ye usin' fer bait?" "Worms""Let me see it," said O'Bannon. MacAndrews lifted the line from the water and handed it to his cousin. O'Bannon took out his flask of potcheen and dipped the worm in it. He handed it back to MacAndrews, who cast his line once more. As soon as the worm hit the water, his rod bent over double, the line screaming out." Have ye got a bite?" asked O'Bannon." No!" shouted MacAndrews, fighting with the rod, "The worm's got a salmon by the throat!"

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Salmon!
Salmon who?
Salmonenchanted evening!

...the National Marine Fisheries Service has released a wide-ranging plan to help the struggling native Chinook salmon population by allowing the salmon to own & operate their own casino. Games will include blackjack, poker, and go-fish.