Saloon Jokes / Recent Jokes

The following is supposedly a true story relating to a United States shipping company.

THE U. S. shipping company had a new ship built. It was to be the pride of the fleet, and something special was wanted to decorate the captain's saloon, a large living room/office where the vessel's business and entertaining would take place.

Someone suggested that a set of nautical prints would lend a nice touch. He knew of a shop in London that specialized in such things, and the prints were ordered and hung in the saloon.

It was not until the trial run of the vessel, when both the builder's and the owner's representatives were aboard, that someone looked closely at the prints. Each was of an American ship being captured by, or surrendering to, a British warship during the War of 1812.

A bar owner in the Old West has just hired a timid new bartender. The owner of the establishment is giving his new hire some instructions on running the place. He tells the timid man, "If you ever hear that Big John is coming to town, drop everything and run for the hills! He's the meanest, biggest, nastiest outlaw who ever lived!"
A few weeks pass uneventfully. One afternoon, a local cowhand comes running through town yelling, "Big John is coming to town! Run for your lives!"
When the bartender exits the saloon to start running, he's knocked to the ground by several townspeople scurrying out of town. As he's picking himself up, he sees a large man approaching the saloon, probably about 7 feet tall, muscular, grunting and growling as he walks.
He stomps up to the door, orders the poor barkeep inside, and demands, "I want a beer now!"
He pounds his heavy fist on the bar, nearly splitting it in half. The bartender nervously hands the big more...

Outside a barber's saloon near a bus stop is the following message:
"Visit immediately, no time waste
Instant Beauty Saloon
Special visiting hours from 5. 30 p. m. to 7. 30 p. m. If you are a passenger alighting from buses in the evening hours then walk straight into our saloon. We make you up-to-date so that your wife and children recognise you without difficulty!
Preferable: A copy of your original photograph for matching!"

A bar owner in the Old West has just hired a timid new bartender. The owner of the establishment is giving his new hire some instructions on running the place. He tells the timid man, “If you ever hear that Big John is coming to town, drop everything and run for the hills! He’s the meanest, biggest, nastiest outlaw who ever lived! ”
A few weeks pass uneventfully. One afternoon, a local cowhand comes running through town yelling, “Big John is coming to town! Run for your lives! ”
When the bartender exits the saloon to start running, he’s knocked to the ground by several townspeople scurrying out of town. As he’s picking himself up, he sees a large man approaching the saloon, probably about 7 feet tall, muscular, grunting and growling as he walks.
He stomps up to the door, orders the poor barkeep inside, and demands, “I want a beer now! ”
He pounds his heavy fist on the bar, nearly splitting it in half. The bartender nervously hands the big man a more...

The following is supposedly a true story relating to a United States shipping company.
THE U. S. shipping company had a new ship built. It was to be the pride of the fleet, and something special was wanted to decorate the captain’s saloon, a large living room/office where the vessel’s business and entertaining would take place.
Someone suggested that a set of nautical prints would lend a nice touch. He knew of a shop in London that specialized in such things, and the prints were ordered and hung in the saloon.
It was not until the trial run of the vessel, when both the builder’s and the owner’s representatives were aboard, that someone looked closely at the prints. Each was of an American ship being captured by, or surrendering to, a British warship during the War of 1812.

The following is supposedly a true story relating to a United States shipping company.
THE U. S. shipping company had a new ship built. It was to be the pride of the fleet, and something special was wanted to decorate the captain's saloon, a large living room/office where the vessel's business and entertaining would take place.
Someone suggested that a set of nautical prints would lend a nice touch. He knew of a shop in London that specialized in such things, and the prints were ordered and hung in the saloon.
It was not until the trial run of the vessel, when both the builder's and the owner's representatives were aboard, that someone looked closely at the prints. Each was of an American ship being captured by, or surrendering to, a British warship during the War of 1812.

A sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and Suffered huge Loss.
Do u know what the business was?
.. . . .. . . . . .. . He opened a Saloon in Punjab!.