Santa Banta Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man is driving down a country road, when he spots Santa standing in the middle of a huge field of grass.
He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Santa is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.
The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to our Santa and asks him, "Ah excuse me sir, but what are you doing?"
Santa replies, "I`m trying to win a Nobel Prize."
"How?" asks the man, puzzled.
"Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field."

Santa was asked to try out a new parachute with a radio link to a guy on the ground, the guy on the ground would say when to pull the release cord for the parachute.
Santa jumped out of the plane and started to fall when he reached a thousand feet the guy on the ground said ok pull the release cord now, Santa didn`t take any notice and kept falling.
He got down to 500 feet and the guy on the ground said quick pull the cord you are getting close, but Santa just ignored him and kept falling.
He got down to 100 feet and the guy on the ground said quick pull the cord, Santa still ignored him.
He got down to 10 feet, the guy on the ground said this is your last chance you`ll be killed if you don`t pull the cord now.
Santa replied, "Thats ok. I can jump from here!!"

Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers, Santa and Banta.
"So," he said, "I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe."
Both, Santa and Banta squirmed uncomfortably.
"You, advocate Santa, gave me Rs 60, 000. And you, advocate Banta, gave me Rs 50, 000."
The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check. He handed it to Santa, and stated, "Now then, I`m returning Rs 10, 000, and we`re going to decide this case strictly on its merits."

Once Banta asked Santa, "What is the secret behind your happy married life?" Santa said, "You should share responsibilities with due love and respect to each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems." Banta asked, "Can you explain?" Santa said, "In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other`s decisions." Still not convinced, Banta asked, "Give me some examples" Santa said, "Smaller issues like which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator to buy, monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc are decided by my wife. I just agree to it" Banta asked, "Then what is your role?" Santa said, "My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iraq, whether Britain should lift sanction over Zimbabwe, whether to widen African more...

A minister visited an asylum for the mentally disturbed women and was taken on a tour of the facilities by one of the doctors. Walking down the dismal, echoing corridors, the minister was troubled by the cries and groans of the patients coming from their rooms.
"I hope that I can be of some help and comfort to these poor souls," he told his guide.
The doctor stopped at a door and they looked through the small window.
"This is a sad case," said the doctor.
The patient rocked back and forth on her cot, sobbing and sighing, "Santa," she repeated over and over. "Oh, Santa!"
"She was to marry a man named Santa," said the doctor. "And on their wedding day Santa ran off with another woman. It broke her heart and she went mad."
They moved on to another door and looked in. Inside the patient was bound in a straight-jacket, shrieking insanely, "Santa! Santa!"
"Let me guess," said more...

When Santa came home, his wife, Jeeto, was crying.
"Your mother insulted me," Jeeto sobbed.
"My mother? How could she do that when she is on vacation on the other side of the country?" Santa asked.
"I know. But this morning a letter addressed to you arrived. I opened it because I was curious."
"And?"
"At the end of the letter it said, `Dear Jeeto, when you have finished reading this letter, don`t forget to give it to my son.`"

Santa had been out for a few days due to ill health. At work Banta asked him how he was feeling?
"I`m better, thanks. You know, it was a wonderful experience." he replied.
"Wonderful? How can the cold and fever be wonderful?" Banta asked Santa in stunned disbelief.
"Well, I learned that my wife, Jeeto, really loves me. You know that whenever the mailman came by or a delivery man headed toward the door, she ran out to meet them? I could hear her excitedly saying `My husband is home! My husband is home!`"