Sarah Jokes / Recent Jokes

This is a collection of actual student bloopers collected by teachers from 8th grade through college. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?" Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose more...

Sarah Palin has beenquiet for over three weeks. No comedy writer suicides have yet beenreported. Then again, most of them live alone.

One day, Harry and Sarah were having a petty argument.
After shouting back and forth, Sarah finally says, "Let's make a deal. To end this argument, you admit that I am right and I will admit that I am wrong."
Harry thought for a moment, agreed, and asked her to go first.
Sarah replied, "I'm sorry Harry, I am wrong."
In response, Harry shouts happily, "You're right!"

A woman, calling a local hospital, said, "Hello, I'd like to talk with the person who gives the information regarding your patients. I'd like to find out if the patient is getting better, or doing as expected, or is getting worse". The voice on the other end of the line said, "What is the patient's name and room number?" She said, "Sarah Finkel, in Room 302." "I will connect you with the nursing station."
"3-A Nursing Station. How can I help You?"
"I would like to know the condition of Sarah Finkel in Room 302."
"Just a moment. Let me look at her records. Oh, yes. Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she's had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine, her blood work just came back as normal, she's going to be
taken off the heart monitor in a couple of hours and if she continues this improvement, Dr. Cohen is going to send her home Tuesday at twelve o'clock."
The woman said, "Thank God! more...

Back in November, the Huffington Post reported that Sarah Palin could get $7 Million Dollars to write a book.
Skipping the obligiatory Write-a-book?-I-didn't-even-know-she-could-read comment, I do wanna say that I think this is pretty short-sighted. I don't care about Sarah Palin's story, because we already know it. I'm tired of her story already, and I have no interest in hearing it in her own voice. It'd probably sound a lot like Huckleberry Finn - except with twice the tits, three times the racism and none of the biting social commentary.
No...Sarah Palin's isn't the story to be published. Bristol's is. Bristol's the one with the story - especially after her interview on Fox News.
It's the classic narrative, and it's one that every woman can resonate with even more so than Mrs. Golly G. Shoot-a-Moose over there.
How My Mother and a Boy F*cked Up My Life - By Bristol Harley Davidson Palin.
If you think Oprah won't fall over herself to endorse that, then I've got more...

deer santa: I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. Yer Frend, BiLLy

Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! Santa

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Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah

Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa

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Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love, Teddy

Dear Teddy, Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat mom, who rides his ass more...

The man who takes care of the Sarah Palin family sled racing dogs is complaining about his job: "All of that inbreeding has resulted in lowered intelligence and a very bad temperament.....and the dogs aren't that smart either."