Sarah Jokes / Recent Jokes
Sarah Palin says she quit her office to answer a "higher calling"...sigh.
Y'ever feel like you could almost see how a chain of events will come to pass? I like to call it "Writer's Foresight," because sometimes people's lives will fit a certain narrative model almost perfectly. And I'll tell ya - considering this woman has never met an epiphany she couldn't MISS, I do NOT see her personal story ending well.
At the rate she's going, I'd bet anybody $100 she winds up drunk and insane like "Lola" from "Copacabana:" Her name was SArah...she was a MOron...she sported shoulderlengthbrownhair, and a foureyedvacantstare...
After watching the movie Cinderella, five-year-old Sarah started using her pinwheel as a magic wand, pretending she was a fairy godmother. "Make three wishes," she told her mother, "and I'll grant them."Her mom first asked for world peace. Sarah swung her wand and proclaimed the request fulfilled.Next, her mother requested for a cure for all ill children. Again, with a sweep of the pinwheel, Sarah obliged.The mother, with a glance down at her rather ample curves, made her third wish, "I wish to have a trim figure again."The miniature fairy godmother started waving her wand madly."I'll need more power for this!" she exclaimed.
Bristol Palin, the 18 year old daughter of Sarah Palin, visited the Today Show this morning with her baby son Tripp and her father Todd to promote the Eighth Annual National Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy.
Apparently Sarah Palin wanted to be there but she was off promoting the Eighth Annual National Day to Prevent Incompetence.
Mr. Smith owned a small business. He had two employees, Sarah and Jack. They were both extremely good employees - always willing to work overtime and chip in where needed. Mr. Smith was looking over his books one day and decided that he wasn't making enough money to warrant two employees and he would have to lay one off. But both Sarah and Jack were such good workers he was having trouble finding a fair way to do it. He decided that he would watch them work and the first one to take a break would be the one he would lay off. So, he sat in his office and watched them work. Suddenly, Sarah gets a terrible headache and needs to take an aspirin. She gets the aspirin out of her purse and goes to the water cooler to get something to wash it down with. Mr. Smith follows her to the water cooler, taps her on the shoulder and says, "Sarah, I'm going to have to lay you or Jack off." And Sarah says, "Can you just jack off? I have a headache!"
History Of The World According To Actual Grade School Student Exam Papers!1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in Hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died beforehe ever reached Canada.3. Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.4. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had Myths. A Myth is a female moth.5. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.6. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death his career suffered a dramatic decline.7. Eventually the more...
About 7 am on August 25th 1998, thirty-six year old Mrs Sarah Jenson started her period. By the time she arrived at work an hour later, she had started to experience a chronic itching sensation in her crotch.
Sarah worked as an advisor in a call centre and had recently received a final warning about her poor attendance record. To keep her job, she tried to ignore the itch and got on with answering customers' calls.
At 11: 25 am she reported to her boss that she was suffering from severe abdominal pain and it was only when she collapsed in her own vomit that he called for an ambulance.
She was admitted to the Lincoln Hospital, Texas where doctors discovered that her vagina was greatly swollen and her labia had distended to three times normal size. Whilst cleaning the inflamed area, a tampon was found and it was sent away for analysis.
Suspecting Toxic Shock syndrome, Sarah was kept under close observation until her condition was no longer more...
Sarah and her dentist had been carrying on a passionate affair in his dental clinic for many months. Finally becoming a little nervous about the whole situation, he said to her, "Sarah, sweetheart, I think it's best that we stop seeing each other. Your husband is bound to become suspicious."
"Get serious," she replied. "he's about as dumb as a post. We've been carrying on for months now and he doesn't suspect a thing."
"That may be true, dear," the dentist replied, "but you're down to one tooth."