Saturday Jokes / Recent Jokes
It was Saturday morning and Jake, an avid hunter, woke up ready to go bag the first deer of the season. He walks down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise he finds his wife, Alice, sitting there, fully dressed in camouflage. Jake asks her, "What are you up to?" Alice smiles, "I'm going hunting with you!" Jake, though he has many reservations, reluctantly decides to take her along. They arrive at the hunting site. Jake sets his wife safely up in the tree stand and tells her: "If you see a deer, take careful aim on it and I'll come running back as soon as I hear the shot." Jake walks away with a smile on his face knowing that Alice couldn't bag an elephant - much less a deer. But not 10 minutes pass when he is startled as he hears an array of gunshots. Quickly, Jake starts running back. As Jake gets closer to her stand, he hears Alice screaming, "Get away from my deer!" Confused, Jake races faster towards his screaming wife. more...
A young boy and his father were in the drugstore when the boy came across the condoms and asked his father what they were.
"Those are condoms, son," his father explained. "They're used for protection when you're having sex."
The boy picked up one of the packs and asked his father why it had three in it. "Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday and one for Sunday," replied his father.
The boy then picked up another pack and asked why this one had six condoms. "Those are for college men, son. Two for Friday, two for Saturday and two for Sunday," his father said.
The son then noticed packs containing twelve and asked his father the same question.
"Well, son, those packs are for married men. One for January, one for February... "
Why are Saturday and Sunday so strong? Because the rest are weekdays.
Actual Personal Ads taken from Israeli newspapers
Attractive Jewish woman, 35, college graduate, seeks successful Jewish Prince Charming to get me out of my parents' house. POB 46
Shul Gabbai, 36. I take out the Torah Saturday morning. Would like to take you out Saturday night. Please write. POB 81
Couch potato latke, in search of the right applesauce. Let's try it for eight days. Who knows? POB 43.
Divorced Jewish man, seeks partner to attend shul with, light shabbos candles, celebrate holidays, build Sukkah together, attend brisses, bar mitzvahs. Religion not important. POB 658
Sincere rabbinical student, 27. Enjoys Yom Kippur, Tisha B'av, Taanis Esther, Tzom Gedaliah, Asarah B'Teves, Shiva Asar B'Tammuz. Seeks companion for living life in the "fast" lane. POB 90
Yeshiva bochur, Torah scholar, long beard, payos. Seeks same in woman. POB 43
Worried about in-law meddling? I'm an orphan! Write. POB more...
Saturday, October 13. 2007 What did the little ghost eat for lunch? A booloney sandwich!
A father and his son go into the grocery store when they happen upon the condom aisle. The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms. The father replies, "Well, you see that 3 pack? That's for when you're in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for Saturday night." The son then asks his father, "Well what's the 6 pack for?" The father replies, "Well, that's for when you're in college. You have 2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday morning. Then the son asks his father what the 12 pack is for. The father replies, "Well, that's for when you're married... You have one for January, one for February, one for March..."
Teacher: "This is the fifth time this week that i have had punish you What do you have to say?
Pappu: "Thank god Saturday and Sunday are holidays, Sir!"