Saturday Jokes / Recent Jokes
A father and his son go into the grocery store when they happen upon the condom aisle. The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms.The father replies, "Well, you see that 3 pack? That's for when you're in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for Saturday night."The son then asks his father, "Well what's the 6 pack for?" The father replies, "Well, that's for when you're in college. You have 2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday morning.Then the son asks his father what the 12 pack is for. The father replies, "Well, that's for when you're married... You have one for January, one for February, one for March..."
A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, 'What are these, Dad?'
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, 'Those are called condoms, son... Men use them to have safe sex.'
'Oh I see,' replied the boys pensively. 'Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school.' He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, 'Why are there 3 in this package.'
The dad replies, 'Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday.'
'Cool!' says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, 'Then who are these for?' 'Those are for college men.' the dad answers, 'TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday.'
'WOW!' exclaimed the boy, 'then who uses THESE?' he asks, picking up a 12 pack. With a sigh, the dad replied, 'Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March... '
Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath, and young nun, Sister Magdalene had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old nun had instructed. Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at Father John's nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do, and pray. The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the Saturday night bath had gone." Oh, sister," said the young nun dreamily. "I've been saved." Saved? And how did that fine thing come about?" asked the old nun "Well, when Fr. John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to wash him, and while I was washing him he guided my hand down between his legs where he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven." "Did he now?" said the old nun evenly. Sister Magdalene continued, "And Fr. John said that if the Key to Heaven fit my lock, the portals of Heaven would be opened to me and I would be assured of salvation and eternal peace. And then Father more...
A father and his son go into the grocery store when they happen upon the condom aisle. The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms. The father replies,' 'Well, you see that 3-pack? That's for when you're in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for Saturday night.'' The son then asks his father,' 'What's the 6-pack for?'' The father replies,' 'Well, that's for when you're in college. You have 2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday morning.'' Then the son asks his father what the 12-pack is for. The father replies,' 'Well, that's for when you're married. You have one for January, one for February, one for March, one for.....''
Little Johnny had just turned six and much to his parents' chagrin, had never
spoken.Johnny's Grandpa, a well-known local poker player, was sympathetic to Johnny's plight, and would take Johnny with him whenever possible. One regular bonding between grandpa and grandson was at the Elk's Club Saturday night straight poker game. Johnny would sit on Grandpa's lap and faithfully watch as Grandpa regularly cleaned
out the town council members, local attorneys and judges.One Saturday night, Grandpa's cards were running bad. Nothing was working. For the first time, it looked like Grandpa's famous winning streak was about to come to an end. Towards the end of the evening, furious at his run of bad luck, Grandpa folded and threw his cards on the pot in disgust. Johnny looked up at his grandpa and said, “You shouldn't have folded, Grandpa.”Grandpa was stunned. “Johnny, you're six years old, and these are the first words you've ever spoken!”Johnny looked at Grandpa and said, more...
Good advice
Jeremy warned his son against marrying a `shiksa.`
The son replied, "But she`s converting to Judaism."
"It doesn`t matter," Jeremy said, "a shiksa will cause problems."
After the wedding, Jeremy called the son, who was in business with him, and asked him why he was not at work.
"It`s Shabbos," the son replied.
Jeremy was surprised and said, "But we always work on Saturday. It`s our busiest day."
"I won`t work anymore on Saturday," the son insisted, "because my wife wants us to go to shul on Shabbos."
"See," Jeremy said, "I told you marrying a shiksa would cause problems."