Saving Jokes / Recent Jokes

There are three high school -aged boys walking down the street in Washington,
D.C. Suddenly, they see Bill Clinton go jogging by, and he is about to be hit by
a car. So, they pull Bill out of the way and save his life.
Bill says, "Thank you for saving my life. I will grant each of you one wish."
The first boy says, "I want to go to Georgetown." Bill pulls some strings and
gets the boy admitted.
The second boy says, "I want to get into West Point, but it normally requires a
Congressional appointment." Bill calls up his Democratic friends in Congress and
gets the boy his appointment.
The third boy says, "I want to be buried in Arlington National Cemetery."
Bill says, "That is an odd request for a 17-year-old!"
The boy says, "Yes, but when my father finds out I saved your life he is going
to kill me!"

A mohel was in the unsual habit of saving the foreskins from the babies he circumcised. Everyone thought this was evidence enough that the old man was deranged. When they found out that he wasn't just saving them, but sewing them into miniature change-purses, they were ready to call for the men in white coats.
The mohel insisted, though, that he was in full possession of his faculties. "I'm just being practical," he said. "They're the most useful change-purses in the world. Just watch! You rub one, and it turns into a suitcase!"

Three young college students are on vacation in Washington, DC. One day they are walking together past the White House when they hear the voice of a man crying out, "Help, Help."
Quickly, they respond to the call by leaping over the White House fence, and by following the cries, they eventually come upon George Dubya, drowning in the White House swimming pool. In an heroic rush, they pull him from the pool, then give him CPR, clearly saving his life.
After a few minutes, Dubya says to them, "Well, boys, today you saved my life! And I am willing to give each of you any wish you desire, as long as it is within my power as President!"
The first fellow thinks for a few seconds then says, "I've always wanted to go to West Point. Can you get me an appointment?"
"You bet!" said the President, "I'll sign the papers this afternoon!"
Then the second fellow said, "I've always wanted to go to Annapolis. Can you get me more...

Three young college students are on vacation in Washington, DC. One day they are walking together past the White House when they hear the voice of a man crying out, "Help, Help." Quickly, they respond to the call by leaping over the White House fence, and by following the cries, they eventually come upon Bill Clinton, drowning in the White House swimming pool. In an heroic rush, they pull him from the pool, then give him artificial respiration, clearly saving his life. After a few minutes, Clinton says to them, "Well, boys, today you saved my life! And I am willing to give each of you any wish you desire, as long as it is within my power as President!" The first fellow thinks for a few seconds then says, "I have always wanted to go to West Point. Can you get me an appointment?" "You bet!" said the President, "I'll sign the papers this afternoon!" Then the second fellow said, "I've always wanted to go to Annapolis. Can you get me more...

A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 and the bride was 23. The groom looked pretty feeble and the feeling was that the wedding night might kill him, because his bride was a healthy, vivacious young woman. But lo and behold, the next morning, the bride came down the main staircase slowly, step by step, hanging onto the banister for dear life.

She finally managed to get to the counter of the little shop in the hotel. The clerk looked really concerned, "Whatever happened to you, honey? You look like you've been wrestling an alligator!"

The bride groaned, hung on to the counter and managed to speak, "Ohhh God! He told me he'd been saving up for 75 years, and I thought he meant his money!!"