Scared Jokes / Recent Jokes

Guess the following movie quotes. All movies were released between the years 1980 and 1989. Comedies, dramas, action, etc. Some are quite simple, and others are more difficult.

There are 37 items, followed by the answers at the bottom, so you may wish to save reading this for a less hectic portion of your day.

1) Joey, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

2) We're on a mission from God.

3) People on' ludes should not drive.

4) This house is clean.

5) Shall we play a game?

6) Terrific!! I've got a trig mid-term tomorrow, and I'm being chased by Guido the killer pimp.

7) Back off man, I'm a scientist.

8) That's why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they'd call them something else.

9) I know a little German. He's sitting over there.

10) Can I borrow your towel, my car just hit a water buffalo.

11) Excuse me, Dick, I mean Rich, will milk be more...

One day Gramma sent her grandson little Johnnie down to the water hole to get some water to cook dinner.
As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Gramma's kitchen.
"Well now, where's my bucket and where's my water?" Gramma asked him.
"I can't get any water from that water hole, Gramma" exclaimed Johnnie. "There's a BIG ol' alligator down there!"
"Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnnie. He's been there for a few years now, and he's never hurt no one. Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!"
"Well, Gramma," replied Johnnie, "if he's as scared as I am, then that water ain't fit to drink!"

one day, there were 3 brave men that wanted to see who was the bravest of them. they all stayed one night in a haunted house, to see who was the bravest. the 1st one went to the 3rd floor and heard "we are the pirates of the carribean sea!" he got scared and jumped out the window to safety.[not so brave, huh? ] the 2nd one went to the 2nd floor and heard the same thing. "We are the pirates of the carribean sea." he got scared too, so he jumped out to safety. the bravest one, heard it on the 1st floor more louder. "WE are the pirates of the carribean sea!" he went closer and closer to a bathroom. he went in and found the toilet seat open. when he looked in, there were 3 ants floating on a piece of poo going "WE are the pirates of the carribean sea!

There was 3 guys going to the beach to see the bigest sand castle in the world.
The 1st guy went in the sand castle and heard a voice that said "I got you were I want you and now im gonna eat you" He got scared and went out and told the 2nd guy to gu in.
The 2nd guy went in and heard the voice that said "I got you where I want you and now im gonna eat you" So he got scared and told the 3rd guy to go in.
The 3rd guy went in and head the voice "I got you where I want you and now im gonna eat you" BUT he followed where the voice was comming from. He saw a closet and opened the door.
What was in it?
A little girl picking her nose saying "I got you were I want you and now im gonna eat you.

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year olds, "What does love mean?"
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
- Rebecca, age 8
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth."
- Billy, age 4
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
- Karl - age 5
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
- Chrissy - age 6
"Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad but you don't yell at them because you know more...

A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He wentthough the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higherand higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from anairplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him thenews. "So, did you jump?" the father asked. "Well, let me tell you whathappened. We got up in the plane, and the sergeant opened up the doorand asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked outof the plane!" Is that when you jumped?" asked the father. "Um, not yet.Then the sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throwthem out the door." "Did you jump then?" asked the father. "I'm getting to that. Every one else had jumped, and I was the last manleft on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump. Hetold be to get off the plane or he'd kick my butt." "So, did you jump?""Not then. He tried to more...

Once upon a time, there were 3 little pigs. The straw pig, the stick pig, and the brick pig.
One day this nasty old wolf came up to the straw pigs house and said, "I'm gonna huff, and puff and blow your house down." And he did! So the straw pig went running over to the stick pig's house and said " Let me in, please, the wolf just blew down my house!!" So the stick pig let the straw pig in.
Then the wolf showed up and said, "I'm gonna huff and puff and blow your house down!" And he did! The straw pig and the stick pig went running over to the brick pig's house and said "Let us in! The wolf just blew down our houses down and we're scared!!!" So the brick pig let them in.
The wolf caught up with them and said "I'm gonna huff, and puff and blow your house down." While he was huffing and puffing, the straw pig and the stick pig were so scared! But the brick pig picked up the phone and called a friend.
A few minutes more...