Scared Jokes / Recent Jokes
A cyclone hit a farmhouse just before dawn one morning. It tore off the roof, and picked up the beds on which the farmer and his wife slept were sleeping. By some miracle, the cyclone set them down unharmed the next county over.
The wife was sobbing uncontrollably.
“Don’t be scared, Mary,” her husband said.” We’re not hurt.”
Mary continued to cry. “I’m not scared,” she said between sobs. “I’m happy… this is the first time in 14 years we’ve been out together.”
Jane calls the doctor in a panic. "Doctor, doctor! My little Jimmy swallowed a dozen aspirin. What should I do?"
The doctor asked Jane, "Are you sure it was a dozen?"
The frantic mother says, "Absolutely! Doctor, I'm scared to death!"
The doctor tells the mother, "Calm down. Is little Jimmy crying?"
Jane says "No."
"Is he sleeping?" asks the doctor.
"No." says Jimmy's mom.
The doctor goes on with routine questions, "Is his color funny?"
Again Jane says "No."
"Did Jimmy throw up?" asks the methodical doctor.
"No." says the worried mom. "But I'm so scared. All that aspirin... shouldn't I do something?"
To which the doctor says, "Try giving him a headache."
Q.Why is a dog scared of a fire? A.It doesn't want to become a hot dog.
A little boy asked his teacher if he could go to
the bathroom, so she said yes. When he went to
wipe his bum there was no toilet paper so he used
his hands. When he got back to class his teacher
asked, "What do you have in your hand."The boy
said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hand
he'll get scared away."
He was then sent to the principals office and
the principal asked him, "What do you have in
your hand."
So the little boy said, "a little leprechaun and
if I open my hands he'll get scared away."
He was sent home and his mom asked him "What do
you have in your hand."
So the little boy said, "a little leprechaun and
if I open my hands he'll get scared away."
He was sent to his room and his dad came in and
said, "What do you have in your hand."
So again the little boy said, "A little
leprechaun and if I open my more...
Before you read this joke, I may warn you that this joke is strictly for those who are familiar with the basics of mathematics.. so if you are one of those people who dig under the rocks when given a basic math problem to solve, you may wish to leave now!
The guy gets on a bus and starts threatening everybody: "I'll integrate you! I'll differentiate you!!!" So everybody gets scared and runs away. Only one person stays. The guy comes up to him and says: "Aren't you scared, I'll integrate you, I'll differentiate you!!!" And the other guy says; "No, I am not scared, I am e^x."
Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double- decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Are Banta Singh! What the heck`s going` on? Why are you scared? I was enjoying my ride down there? " Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you`ve got a *driver.* "