Scared Jokes / Recent Jokes
One lovely Sunday morning while the pastor was preaching the devil came to break up the party. Everyone in the church was going crazy, they were all scared. Only one older man was still sitting in his pew. The devil was puzzled and he asked the man why he was not scared of him. The old man told the devil, because I have been married to your sister for 46 years.
A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news.
"So, did you jump?" the father asked.
"Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the plane, and the sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the plane!" "Is that when you jumped?" asked the father.
"Um, not yet. Then the sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the door."
"Did you jump then?" asked the father.
"I'm getting to that. Every one else had jumped, and I was the last man left on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told me to get off the plane or he'd kick more...
One night, a father passed by his son's room and heard his son praying: "God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Ta ta, Grandpa."
The father didn't quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack. The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit spooked.
The next night, he heard his son praying again: "God bless Mommy and Daddy. Ta ta, Grandma."
The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning. Sure enough, the next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack.
Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son's door the next night. And sure enough, the boy started to pray: "God bless Mommy. Ta ta, Daddy."
Now the father was extremely scared. He stayed up all night, and went to the doctor early the next day to make sure his health was fine. When he finally came home, his wife was more...
(I heard this from my stepson, who says that it was running rampant
in the barracks while he was in the Army...)
A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers.
He went though the standard training, completed
the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and
finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The
next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news.
"So, did you jump?" the father asked.
"Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the
plane, and the sergeant opened up the door and asked for
volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out
of the plane!"
"Is that when you jumped?" asked the father.
"Um, not yet. Then the sergeant started to grab the other
men one at a time and throw them out the door."
"Did you jump then?" asked the father.
"I'm getting to that. Every one else had jumped, and I more...
Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double-decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top.
After a while when the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Are Banta Singh! What the heck's goin' on? Why are you so scared? I was enjoying my ride down there? Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a driver."
A little boy asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, so she said yes. When he went to wipe his bum there was no toilet paper so he used his hands. When he got back to class his teacher asked,' What do you have in your hand.' The boy said,' A little leprechaun and if I open my hand he'll get scared away.' He was then sent to the principals office and the principal asked him,' What do you have in your hand.' So the little boy said,' A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away.' He was sent home and his mom asked him' What do you have in your hand.' So the little boy said,' A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away.' He was sent to his room and his dad came in and said,' What do you have in your hand.' So again the little boy said,' A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he get scared away.' Then his Dad got really mad and yelled,' Open your hands!' And the little boy said,' Look Dad you scared the crap out of him.'