Scary Jokes / Recent Jokes

I once was on a plane where I was served by an obviously homosexual male flight attendant. At one point, he bounced over to where I was sitting and announced "The Captain has asked me to announce that he will be landing the big scary plane shortly, so if you could just put up your trays, that would be great."

I did as he had instructed but the woman sitting next to me did not. A few moments later, our flight attendant came back and said to her, "Ma'am, perhaps you couldn't hear me over the big scary engine, but I asked you to please put up your tray so that the captain can land the plane." She still wouldn't comply.

Now the attendent was getting rather angry and asked her again to put up the tray. She then calmly turned to him and said, "In my country, I am called a princess. I take orders from no one."

Our flight attendant replied: "Oh yeah? Well in MY country, I'm called a queen and I outrank you, Bitch! So put the more...

8. The most powerful force in the universe is Andrew Lloyd Webber.
9. The one thing that unites all non-musicians, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, they all have below-average musical taste.
10. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your musical talent. That time is age 11.
11. There is a very fine line between "arranging" and "mental illness."
12. People who want you to listen to their music almost never want to listen to yours.
13. There apparently exists, somewhere in Los Angeles, a computer that generates music for television dramas. When TV composers need a new dramatic cue, they turn on this computer; after sorting through millions of possible musical themes, it spits out, "ONE LONG LOW SCARY NOTE ON A SYNTHESIZER, " and this becomes the cue. The next time they need a cue, the computer spits out, "TWO more...