Scientist Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day a group of eminent scientists got together and decided that mankind had come a long way and no longer needed God. So they picked one scientist to go and tell Him that they were done with Him.
The scientist walked up to God and said, "God, we've decided that we no longer nee You. We're at the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, sop why don't You just retire?"
God listened very patiently to the man and then said, "Very well, but first, how about this: Let's have a man-making contest."
To which the scientist replied, "Okay, great!" But God added, "Now we're going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam."
The scientist said "Sure, no problem!" and bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt.
God looked at him and said, "No, no, no. You got to get your own dirt!"

One day a group of scientists got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. So they picked one scientist to go and tell Him that they were done with Him. The scientist walked up to God and said, "God, we've decided that we no longer need you. We're to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don't you just go on and get lost."
God listened very patiently and kindly to the man and after the scientist was done talking, God said, "Very well, how about this, let's say we have a man making contest."
To which the scientist replied, "OK, great!"
But God added, "Now, we're going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam."
The scientist said, "Sure, no problem" and bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt.
God just looked at him and said, "No, no, no. You go get your own dirt!"

NASA was getting ready to launch a very important space shuttle. The scientists and engineers checked and double checked everything to make sure that things are fine.
However, on the day of our launch, something seemed to be wrong. The rocket gave all sorts of noise but never took off even an inch from the ground. The engineers were puzzled because they could not figure out the problem.
Finally, there was an Indian scientist who offered to help. They NASA people were desperate by that time and agreed to do anything.
"Tilt the rocket 45 degrees to the right" said the Indian scientist. The engineers were puzzled but did it anyway.
"Bring it back to vertical position" the Indian said. The engineers did.
"Now start the engines" he said. And surprise, the rocket took off and flew into outer space!
Everybody congratulated him and asked him how he knew what to do. He replied -
"It is very simple. This is what we always do with more...

A mathematician, an engineer, and a computer scientist are vacationing together. They are riding in a car, enjoying the countryside, when suddenly the engine stops working.
The mathematician: "We came past a gas station a few minutes ago. Someone should go back and ask for help."
The engineer: "I should have a look at the engine. Perhaps, I can fix it."
The computer scientist: "Why don't we just open the doors, slam them shut, and see if everything works again?"

Once In 18th Century, All The Scientists Were Finding The Path To Moon. So A Scientist Calls All The Other Scientists And Says
That He Found The Path To Moon. Everyone Asks Him How. He Takes A Torch And Switches It On And Shows Them The Light Rays
Telling This Is The Path To The Moon. Another Scientist Goes And Tells Him That He Would Test The Way To Moon And Tells Him
That He Should Not Switch Off The Torch When He Is Halfway.

There was this not too bright scientist doing a study on how frogs respond to commands. He tells a frog to jump. The frog jumps 30 feet. He writes in his log book, frog jumps 30 feet. Then he cuts off one leg. He gives the same command to frog. It jumps 25 feet. In Log: Cut off one leg, frog jumps 5 less feet. He cuts off another leg. Frog goes 20 feet. He records it in log book. Then he cuts off the 3rd leg, commands frog to jump. Frog jumps 10 feet. He writes, cut off 3 legs and frog now jumps 10 less feet. Finally, he cuts off the last leg and commands frog, JUMP! Frog doesn't move an inch. So the scientist writes in his book... Cut off all 4 legs and frog GOES DEAF!

There was a group of scientists and they were all sitting around discussing which one of them was going to go to God and tell Him that they didn't need him anymore. Finally, one of the scientists volunteered and went to go tell God he was no longer needed... So the scientist says to God: "God, you know, a bunch of us have been thinking and I've come to tell you that we really don't need you anymore. I mean, we've been coming up with great theories and ideas, we've cloned sheep, and we're on the verge of cloning humans. So as you can see, we really don't need you."

God nods understandingly and says: " I see. Well, no hard feelings. But before you go let's have a contest. What d'ya think?"

The scientist says: "Sure I'm all for it. What kind of contest?"

God: " A man-making contest."

The scientist: "Sure! No problem" The scientist bends down and picks up a handful of dirt and says: "Okay, more...