Scott Jokes / Recent Jokes

Every once in a awhile, this couple would tell their 2 children, Scott (the older one) and Andrew that they were going to go upstairs for a bit(to do their little freaky thing). One day Scott got curious to what they were doing up there, so the next time they said that they were going to go upstairs he very cautiously followed them. He peeked in through the crack in the door and whispered, "Hey Andrew, come look at this. Guess what the woman who told us never to suck our thumbs is sucking?!"

Scott Boras believes the Mets have enough money to afford Roy Halladay's salary. We believe Scott Boras has enough money to afford Roy Halladay's salary.

Scott goes hiking on his own to commune with nature. He gets too close to the edge of a cliff, slips, and finds himself hanging by his hands from the branch of a little tree growing about 10 feet down from the top and 100 feet above a sheer drop to the rocks below. Yelling for help being of no avail, Scott sees his life passing before his eyes, and finally, in desperation, calls up into the sky, "Is there anybody up there?"
A great voice booms out, "Yes, Scott, I am here."
"Who are you?"
"It's me, your God."
"Help me," calls Scott.
"I'll help you. Let go of the tree."
"What?"
"Trust in me. Let go of the tree and I will help you."
Scott thinks for a minute, then calls up into the sky, "Is there anybody else up there?"

Scott finally got his girlfriend into bed, and things were going hot and heavy. "Slow down, baby," she said. "Foreplay is an art." "You better get your canvas ready soon," he panted, "because I'm about to spill my paint!"

"How was your game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy.

"Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad I couldn't see where the ball went," he answered.

"But you're 75 years old, Jack!" admonished his wife, "Why don't you take my brother Scott along?"

"But he's 85 and doesn't play golf anymore," protested Jack.

"But he's got perfect eyesight. He would watch the ball for you," Tracy pointed out.

The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway.

"Do you see it?" asked Jack.

"Yup," Scott answered.

"Well, where is it?" yelled Jack, peering off into the distance.

"I forgot."

Cecil and Scott are two homosexuals living together. It was extremely hot one day and Cecil arrived home to find Scott with his ass in the freezer.
"Scott! What are you doing with your ass in the freezer?"
Scott replied, "It was so hot outside, I thought you'd like something cool to slip into!"

There was this English Man, Scotch Man and an Irish Man going for a job interview.
They all had there induction exams, and where all called back one at a time.
The English man walks in first, and the interviewer says: "Well, you past your exam with flying colours! But theres one thing I like about a man and thats honesty, so can you notice anything odd about me?"
The English man looks and nods: "Yes, you've got one ear on the top of your head, and one at the side of you head!"
The interviewer was very pleased with the English mans honesty, and sent for the Scott. The interviewer goes through the same routine again and comes to the final question, and the Scott replies: "well, you've got one ear on top of your head and another at the side of you head!"
The interviewer again very pleased with the Sotts honesty sent for the Irish man. The interviewer precedes with the same rigmarole, and comes to the final question "Can you more...