Screams Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Blonde a Brunette And a red head were caught killing somebody! The FBI wanted them dead so they were chasing them everywhere! The kids ran into a hotel and went up high in the elevator. When the door ope the Fbi was right there with there guns at there faces. The Brunette screams EarthQuake and then the FBI looks and she runs away. The Red head screams Tornado and they look and run away. The Blonde screams fire and then she falls to the floor. Think About it for a second

A young Redhead goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible", says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams. The doctor says, "You're not really a redhead, are you?" "No, " she says, " I'm actually a Blonde." "I thought so, the doctor says. "Your finger is broken."

An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "They're not getting divorced if I have anything to do about it," she shouts, "I'll take care of this."
She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns more...

(Forwarded by an English buddy who lives in Scotland)
Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye went to study at an English university and was living in the hall of residence with all the other students there.
After he had been there a month, his mother came to visit him (no doubt carrying reinforcements of tatties, salt herring, oatmeal and whiskey).
"How do you find the English students, Donald?" she asked.
"Mother," he replied, "they're such terrible, noisy people. The one on that side keeps banging his head on the wall and won't stop. The one on the other side screams and screams all night."
"Oh Donald! How do you manage to put up with these awful noisy English neighbours?"
"Mother, I do nothing. I just ignore them. I just stay here quietly, playing my bagpipes."

One day two kids parents decided that they wanted to go on a vacation, so the youngest brother was forced to live with his older brother at college.
When the little bro showed up, the oldest brother said that it was reallly cool that he is staying here, and said that there is only one rule.
IF I COME HOME WITH A GIRL, I GET THE TOP BUNK, AND YOU HAVE TO GO STRAIGHT TO BED, AND GO TO SLEEP!
"Okay,"
"Okay,"
Later that night, the little brother, watching TV, heard his brother coming down the hall, but he heard a girls voice with him, so he did what he was told and went straight to bed.
Faking sleep, he watched the older brother and his new love Tina, go up to the top bunk.
"Tina, anytime you want me to go harder, say lettuce, and anytime you want me to change positions, say tomato."
"Haha, okay" replied Tina.
So, in the middle of the night, the little brother is awakened by loud screams of the words lettuce and more...

A man goes on a bussiness trip to Japan and has a mint home
with a jappinease servant. She only speaks Japanese though.
One night he was doin' her when she screams shakki. The
next day he goes golfing with bilingual friends and
gets a hole in one. He screams shakki. His fiend says
why did you yell wrong hole.
T. T

A Taliban was sitting in a cave when he hears over a dune the voice of one American solider: "One American solider is better then 10 Taliban fighters" so the Taliban angry sent over ten of his high-ranking soldiers. After a lot of gun fire and yelling and screams of agony the Taliban heard the voice again. "One American solider is better then 100 Taliban fighters" So the Taliban sends over 100 of his highest ranked soldiers sure of victory. After a lot of gun fire and yelling and screams of agony the Taliban heard the voice again. "One American solider is better then 1000 Taliban fighters" So the Taliban sent his toughest, meanest, personal guards over the dune. After hundreds of bullets fired, and explosions and the screaming and crying, it was over. The Taliban now wondering what happened goes over the dune where he finds a wounded Taliban solider who says "don't send anymore men it's really a trap there is really two of them!"