Screw Jokes / Recent Jokes
Zen Masters don't need to screw in light bulbs because they
carry their own light with them.
Q: What do Afghanistan and Hiroshima have in common?
A: Nothing, yet.
Q: What do Osama Bin Laden and General Custer have in common?
A: They both want to know where all those Tomahawks are coming from!
Q: What is the best job in Afghanistan?
A: Foreign Ambassador.
Q: How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb in Afghanistan?
A: Only one, but he does it from 30 miles away using laser targeting.
Q: "How many members of the coalition does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
A: "We are not prepared to comment on specific numbers at this time."
Q: How is Osama Bin Laden like Fred Flintstone?
A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.
Q: Did you hear that Osama Bin Laden won the toss?
A: He elected to receive.
Q: Why do all Afghani soldiers carry a piece of sandpaper?
A: They need a map.
Q: How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two, one to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.
Q: How many (generation) Xers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two, one to go and shoplift the bulb so the boomers have something to screw in and the other to screw it in for minimum wage.
Q: How many vampires does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they *like* it in the dark.
Q: How many alt. vampyres readers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None! Yecch! We LOVE the dark, stupid!
Q: How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One.
Q: How many one-armed people does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one, as long as he kept the till receipt.
Q: How many [members of your favorite group] does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two, but they have to be *really tiny*.
Q: How many Pygmies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: At least three. (Notes: think height!)
Q. What do Baghdad and Hiroshima have in common? A. Nothing, yet.
Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving?
A: Turkey.
Q: What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common?
A: They both have Kurds in their Whey.
Q: What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common?
A: They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from!
Q: What is the best Iraqi job?
A: Foreign Ambassador
Q: How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They can't turn them on anyway.
Q: How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but he does it from 30 miles away using laser targeting, and at a cost of US $8,000,
000.
Q: "How many members of the coalition does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
A: "We are not prepared to comment on specific numbers at this time."
Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots?
A: You only have to more...
Q: How many Jo Brands does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, you give it to a bloody man to do, cos it's a piece of cake, isn't it? Well, no, actually, that expression is crap isn't it, because if you had a piece of cake, you'd bloody well eat it, wouldn't you?
Q: How many DIY buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it takes him two weekends and three trips to the hardware store.
Q: How many recovering addicts does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but it takes twelve steps.
Q: How many recovering addicts does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, as long as he admits he's powerless over light bulbs.
Q: How many recovering addicts does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One to screw it in and one to sponsor him.
Q: How many Soviet emigres does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to stand on a chair and hold the bulb, two to lift the chair by its legs, more...
Q. What do Baghdad and Hiroshima have in common? A. Nothing, yet.Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving? A: Turkey.Q: What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common? A: They both have Kurds in their Whey.Q: What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common? A: They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from ! Q: What is the best Iraqi job? A: Foreign AmbassadorQ: How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None. They can't turn them on anyway.Q: How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Only one, but he does it from 30 miles away using laser targeting, and at a cost of US $8,000,000.Q: "How many members of the coalition does it take to screw in a light bulb?" A: "We are not prepared to comment on specific numbers at this time."Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots? A: You only have to teach them to take off.Q: How do you play Iraqi bingo? A: B-52...F-16...A-10Q: more...