Screw Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None 'o yo' freakin' bitness!
Q: How many WASPs does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to call the electrician and one to mix the martinis.
Q: How many Russian leaders does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Nobody knows. Russian leaders don't last as long as light bulbs.
Q: How many straight San Franciscans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Both of them.
Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare.
Q: How many gays does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to screw it in and the other to say ''Fabulous.'
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: How many can you afford?
Q: How many Lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to screw it in and two to talk about how more...
Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None -- He'll only promise "change."
Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a light bulb?
A: He doesn't. He whines a while, says "I feel your pain", and gets congress to pass a billion dollar light security bill, and blames republicans and special interests for not making lightbulbs free.
Q: How many US Presidents does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, the constitution says that only Congress can screw in light bulbs, so only Congress is responsible for the dark, which is why we need a Constitutional ammendment.
Q: How many US Presidents does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one. If he can handle 250000000 people a day I think he can handle screwing one extra lightbulb.
Q: How many presidential candidates does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Less and less all the time.
Q: How many believable, more...
Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None 'o yo' freakin' bitness! Q: How many WASPs does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two. One to call the electrician and one to mix the martinis.Q: How many Russian leaders does it take to change a light bulb? A: Nobody knows. Russian leaders don't last as long as light bulbs.Q: How many straight San Franciscans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Both of them.Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Three. One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare.Q: How many gays does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two. One to screw it in and the other to say ''Fabulous.'Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A: How many can you afford? Q: How many Lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Three. One to screw it in and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.Q: How many teamsters does it more...
Q: How many Democratic presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: (Gary Hart) This oblique reference to screwing is an obvious attempt to drag my personal life into this campaign. Frankly, I resent it, and the American people resent it.
Q: How many Democratic presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: (Al Gore) As usual, the other left-wing wacko candidates are putting forth solutions that moderate Southerners won't cotton to on Super Tuesday. At least I hope not.
Q: How many Democratic presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: (Paul Simon) My media experts tell me I'm foolish for wearing my hair the same way I did in the 50's. But that's what Paul Simon's all about. And I suppose my media experts are gonna say I'm foolish for this, but in all candor, I change my light bulbs the same way I did in the 50's: my wife gets on a ladder and I turn more...
Q: What is the title of the thinnest book in the world?
A: "What men know about women"
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: "One... a man will screw anything"
Q: How does a man take a bubble bath?
A: "He eats beans for dinner"
Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
A: "Because they don't have balls to scratch"
Q: What is a man's idea of foreplay?
A: "30 minutes of begging"
Q: How can you tell if a man is sexually excited?
A: "If he's breathing"
Q: What is the difference between men and government bonds?
A: "Bonds mature"
Q: What do men and beer bottles have in common?
A: "They are both empty from the neck up"
Q: How can you tell if a man is happy?
A: "Who cares"
Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A: "We don't know... It's never been done"
Q: How are more...
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Four. Actually, only one to screw it in. The other 3 are there to listen to him brag about the screwing part!
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? Four. Actually, only one to screw it in. The other 3 are there to listen to him brag about the screwing part!