Seated Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Frenchman and an American were seated next to an Italian on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives. "Last night I made love to my wife four times," the Frenchman bragged, "and this morning she made me delicious crepes and she told me how much she adored me." "Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the American responded, "and this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could never love another man." When the Italian remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, "And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?" "Once," he replied. "Only once?" the American arrogantly snorted. "And what did she say to you this morning?" "Don`t stop."

A school inspector went to a school for his annual inspection to check the educational quality and standard of the grade 9 students. With out the presence of teacher he took over the class and started to check the knowledge of history. He address Nimal who was seated in the front row " Nimal, tell me who broke the bow of Rawana? (Nimal kiyannna Rawana ge dunnna kaduwe kawda kiyala").
Nimal replied " Sir, I never broke Rawana’s bow, somebody must have told a lie to you"
School inspector was frustrated to see the poor standard and the knowledge of history of these students. As an experienced educationist, he thought the students should not be blamed but the teacher. So he called the class teacher and blamed him " look here Mr Silva, I am very disappointed about some of the answers given by your students". Mr Silva, the class teacher very politely asked, can you explain me further?
The inspector explained " I have asked one of your more...

I think the war between the smokers and non-smokers is heating up a bit. I went into a restaurant for
lunch the other day and, as is my practice, requested a table in the ``no smoking'' section. They
seated me, and I went about the business of ordering and eating my food.
Somewhere between the clam chowder and a club sandwich, I caught the smell of nearby burning tobacco.
Upon looking around, I noticed the man in the booth next to me smoking a freshly lit cigarette.
Overcoming my natural reticence regarding confrontation, I spoke to the man. ``Excuse me, sir, but,
when you came in, did you ask to be seated in the no-smoking section?''
"Yes, I don't like the smell of smoke when I am eating any more than anyone else."
I asked, "Then why are you smoking that cigarette?"
"I've finished eating."
Silly me, it was obvious to the most casual observer.
I called the server over and made her aware of the more...

A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American on anoverseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussingtheir home lives."Last night I made love to my wife four times," the Frenchmanbragged, "and this morning she made me delicious crepes andshe told me how much she adored me.""Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italianresponded, "and this morning she made me a wonderful omelet andtold me she could never love another man."When the American remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked,"And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?""Once," he replied."Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted. "And what did she sayto you this morning?""Don't stop."

Two Texans were seated at the end of a bar when a gorgeous young lady sits
down at the other end and orders a martini. Stunned by her beauty, the two
guys stare at her for a while, debating whether to approach her, when all
of a sudden, she begins to cough, clutch her throat, and begin to turn blue
(obviously in serious respiratory distress). One said to the other, "That
there gal is having a bad time!"
The other agreed and said, "Think we should go help?" "You bet," said the
first, and with that he ran over and said, "Can you speak?" She shook her
head no. He then asked, "Can you breathe?" She again shook her head no.
With that, he pulled up her skirt, pulled down
the back of her panties and licked her on the butt. She was so shocked,
she coughed up the obstruction and began to breathe, with great relief.
At which point, the first Texan looked at his friend and exclaimed, more...

A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American on anoverseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussingtheir home lives." Last night I made love to my wife four times," the Frenchmanbragged, "and this morning she made me delicious crepes andshe told me how much she adored me." "Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italianresponded, "and this morning she made me a wonderful omelet andtold me she could never love another man." When the American remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked,"And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?" "Once," he replied." Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted. "And what did she sayto you this morning?" "Don't stop."

A man and a woman walk into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier.
"Show the lady your finest languginous chinchilla coat!" the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the shop goes in back and comes out with an
absolutely gorgeous full-length coat. As the lady tries it on, the
furrier
sidles up to the guy and discreetly whispers, "Ah, sir, that particular
fur
goes for $65, 000."
"No problem! I'll write you a check!"
"Very good, sir." says the shop owner. "Today is Saturday. You may
come by on Monday to pick it up, after the check has cleared."
So the man and the woman leave. On Monday, the fellow returns. The
store owner is outraged: "How dare you show your face in here?!
There wasn't a single penny in your checking account!!"
"I know" grinned the man. "I just had to come by to thank you for the
most wonderful weekend of my more...