Secret Jokes / Recent Jokes

The new nun goes to her first confession. She tells the priest that she has a terrible secret and he tells her that her secret is safe in the sanctity of the confessional.
She says, "Father, I never wear panties under my habit."
The priest chuckles and says, "That's not so serious. Say five Hail Marys, five Our Fathers, and do six cartwheels on your way to the altar."

The new nun goes to her first confession. She tells the priest that she has a terrible secret and he tells her that her secret is safe in the sanctity of the confessional.She says, "Father, I never wear panties under my habit."The priest chuckles and says, "That's not so serious. Say five Hail Marys, five Our Fathers, and do six cartwheels on your way to the altar."

The new nun goes to her first confession. She tells the priest that she has a terrible secret and he tells her that her secret is safe in the sanctity of the confessional.She says, "Father, I never wears panties under my habit."The priest chuckles and says, "That's not so serious. Say five Hail Marys, five Our Fathers and do five cartwheels on your way to the altar.

The new nun goes to her first confession. She tells the priest that she has a terrible secret.
The priest then tells her that her secret is safe in the sanctity of the confessional.
She says, "Father, I never wear panties under my habit."
The priest chuckles and says, "That's not so serious, Sister Bernadette. Say five Hail Marys, five Our Fathers, and do five cartwheels on your way to the altar."

Top Ten Things Men SHOULDN'T Say Out Loud In Victoria's Secret
#10 Does this come in children's sizes?
# 9 No Thanks. Just Sniffing.
# 8 I'll be in the dressing room going blind.
# 7 Mom will love this.
# 6 Oh the size won't matter. She's inflatable.
# 5 No need to wrap it up. I'll eat it here.
# 4 Will you model this for me???
# 3 The Miracle What??? This is better than world peace!!
# 2 45 bucks? You're just gonna end up NAKED anyway!!
And the number one thing that a man should never, ever say out loud in
Victoria's Secret:
# 1 Oh, honey, you'll never squeeze your fat ass into that!

Secret: something you tell to one person at a time.

After a hot, hard day's work Joe went into a bar to quench his thirst. He walked up to the bar and asked the bartender for a beer. The bartender replied "There's one thing every man has to do here before getting served. You have to tell me the name of your penis." Joe thought it was a bit silly and asked the bartender what he named his. The bartender said " I named mine Nike... like you know... just go for it!"So he thought about it for a few minutes then said " I got one... Secret." The bartender said "Why Secret?" Joe said "Well... it's strong enough for a man, but made for a woman."