Secretary Jokes / Recent Jokes
"George is so forgetful," the sales manager complained to his secretary. "It's a wonder he can sell and I'm not sure he'll even remember to come back."
Just then the door flew open, and in bounced George. "You'll never guess what happened!" he shouted. "While I was at lunch, I met Old Man Brown, who hasn't bought anything from us for five years. Well, we got to talking and he gave me this half-million dollar order!"
"See," sighed the sales manager to his secretary. "I told you he'd forget the sandwiches."
Sometimes true life is more humorous than the jokes that are passed around and around. The following is an excerpt from an Associated Press article by David Sharp, that appeared in The Ithaca Journal yesterday, October 16, 1999.
Y2K turns cars into carriages.
PORTLAND, Maine - State government got its first Y2K surprise months early when owners of 2000 model cars and trucks received titles identifying their new vehicles as "horseless carriages".
Despite millions of dollars spent to ensure state computers are ready for the year 2000, computers in the secretary of state's office got confused over the 2000 model year designation.
As a result, some new vehicle owners or lien holders got titles to "horseless carriages" instead of cars or trucks in April. The case demonstrates the problems that can occur when computers misread the year 2000 as the year 1900, which is what happened in the secretary of state's office.
Since the computer thought the more...
“George is so forgetful, ” the sales manager complained to his secretary. “It's a wonder he can sell and I'm not sure he'll even remember to come back. ”
Just then the door flew open, and in bounced George. “You'll never guess what
happened! ” he shouted. “While I was at lunch, I met Old Man Brown, who hasn't
bought anything from us for five years. Well, we got to talking and he gave me this
half-million dollar order! ”
“See, ” sighed the sales manager to his secretary. “I told you he'd forget the
sandwiches. ”
A businessman was confused about a bill he had received, sohe asked his secretary for some mathematical help. "If I were to give you $20, 000, minus 14%, how much wouldyou take off?" he asked her. The secretary replied, "Everything but my earrings."
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Phone Won't Stop Ringing? Here's What You Do Leola Starling of Ribrock, Tenn., had a serious telephone problem. But unlike most people she did something about it. The brand-new $10 million Ribrock Plaza Motel opened nearby and had acquired almost the same telephone number as Leola. From the moment the motel opened, Leola was besieged by calls not for her. Since she had the same phone number for years, she felt that she had a case to persuade the motel management to change its number. Naturally, the management refused claiming that it could not change its stationery. The phone company was not helpful, either. A number was a number, and just because a customer was getting someone else's calls 24 hours a day didn't make it responsible. After her pleas fell on deaf ears, Leola decided to take matters into her own hands. At 9 o'clock the phone rang. more...
The police were investigating the mysterious death of a prominent businessman who had jumped from a window of his 11th-storey office. His voluptuous private sectretary could offer no explanation for the action but said that her boss had been acting peculiarly ever since she started working for him, a month ago.
"After my very first week on the job," she said, "I recieved a $20 raise. At the end of the 2nd week he called me into his private office, gave me a lovely black nightie, five pairs of nylon stockings and said, 'These are for a beautiful efficient secretary.'"
"At the end of the third week he gave me a fabulous mink stole. Then, this afternoon, he called me into his private office again, presented me with this fabulous diamond bracelet and asked me if I could consider making love to him and what it would cost."
"I told him that I would, and because he had been so nice to me, he could have it for $5, although I was charging all the more...
A big corporation recently hired several cannibals.
"You are all part of our team now," said Human Resources rep during the welcoming briefing.
"You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please do not eat any of the other employees."
The cannibals promised they would not.
Four weeks later their boss remarked, "You're all working very hard, and I'm very satisfied with you, however, one of our secretaries has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?"
The cannibals all shook their heads 'No.'
After the boss left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others: "Which one of you idiots ate the secretary?"
A hand rose hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibal shouted, "You fool! For four weeks we've been eating team leaders, managers, and project managers and no-one has noticed anything, and now YOU ate one secretary and it got noticed. So hereafter more...