Secretary Jokes / Recent Jokes

"I saw Mary with the ex American Secretary of State yesterday."
"Kissinger?"
"No, just holding her hand..."

THE local paper had been dropping some pretty hot hints about the conduct of the Lord Mayor and his sexy secretary. Finally a lawyer's letter was sent, and the paper promised to print a bold statement, clearing up the matter. There followed a headline: There is nothing between the
LORD MAYOR AND HIS SECRETARY. The Lord Mayor's lawyer rang up the editor to say:' This will not do; it could be taken two ways. Next week's edition will have to clarify the matter beyond doubt.'
All this time the editor was playing for time; he wanted to get enough on the Lord Mayor to be able to defend a libel action, and he had got it. Therefore he gladly promised to clear the matter beyond doubt. The next edition came out with: Not even a sheet.

1) MANAGING BY WALKING FASTER THAN THE EMPLOYEES

These kind of managers you will always see in the corridor, ten steps away. "We'll have to talk" you can hear them say, just as they have disappeared around the corner.

2) MANAGING BY STARING OUT OF THE WINDOW

These managers you usually meet with their backside faced to you with their hands in their pockets. When you talk to them, their thoughts keep staring out of the windows.

3) MANAGING BY POST-ITS®

Some managers forget everything. They want to impress you with their' busy'ness by continuously writing on Post-Its® while you are talking.

4) MANAGING BY DELEGATION TO THE SECRETARY

These managers just delegate everything to the secretary.

5) MANAGING BY KNOWING NOTHING

These managers don't really know anything at all. They let YOU give answers. Meanwhile they fill the time with irrelevant anecdotes.

6) MANAGING BY more...

Boss asks secretary "Do you know what the difference is between a Caesar Salad and a blowjob?" "No", says the secretary." Great, Let's do lunch." the boss says.

Two guys were discussing the new secretary at their office.

John to George: "Man, I dated her last Tuesday and we had wonderful sex. She`s a lot better in bed than my wife!"
Two days later.

George to John: "Well, I dated her too and we had sex as well, but I still think your wife is better in bed!

A young man met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the nightwith her for $500. So they did. Before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but that he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT."
On the way to his office he regretted what he had promised, deciding that the whole event was not worth the price. So, he had his secretary send a check for $250 and enclosed the following note:
Dear Madam, Enclosed find check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon because when I rented the apartment I was under the impression that: 1) it had never been occupied; 2) that there was plenty of heat; 3) that it was small enough to make me cozy and feel at home. Last night, however, I found it had been previously occupied, that there was no heat, and it was entirely too large.
Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for more...

A businessman was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help.

"If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" he asked her.

The secretary replied, "Everything but my earrings."