"Twenty Management Styles" joke

1) MANAGING BY WALKING FASTER THAN THE EMPLOYEES

These kind of managers you will always see in the corridor, ten steps away. "We'll have to talk" you can hear them say, just as they have disappeared around the corner.

2) MANAGING BY STARING OUT OF THE WINDOW

These managers you usually meet with their backside faced to you with their hands in their pockets. When you talk to them, their thoughts keep staring out of the windows.

3) MANAGING BY POST-ITS®

Some managers forget everything. They want to impress you with their' busy'ness by continuously writing on Post-Its® while you are talking.

4) MANAGING BY DELEGATION TO THE SECRETARY

These managers just delegate everything to the secretary.

5) MANAGING BY KNOWING NOTHING

These managers don't really know anything at all. They let YOU give answers. Meanwhile they fill the time with irrelevant anecdotes.

6) MANAGING BY CONCEPTUAL THINKING

These people try to explain the present from a theoretical view of the far future. The idea that this never will work, completely satisfies them. They will always have something to talk about.

7) MANAGING BY HIDING INFORMATION

Information hiders are aware of the market value of strictly secret kept information. You must be very thankful to get any information at all.

8) MANAGING BY DOING EXACTLY WHAT THE BOSS SAYS

These managers prevent their bosses from creative thinking. Else they have more work to do.

9) MANAGING BY WALKING ONE FOOT BEHIND THE BOSS

In hierarchical organizations you can watch those groups walking in the corridor. The more equal managers are directly followed by the lesser equal managers, and so on.

10) MANAGING BY SMILING AND WEARING NICE SUITS

If you drink beer with them, lunch with them, smile to them and also wear nice suits, nothing can stop your career anymore.

11) MANAGING BY STUDYING

Despite their continual attendance of all kind of studies and congresses, they still belong to category 5. The longer they learn, the further they get from the practice.

12) MANAGING BY CREATING VAGUE OVERHEAD SHEETS

Do you know them? Those sheets with some big arrows,boxes or circles? These sheets provide the ultimate proof of their overall brilliance.

13) MANAGING BY OPEN DOOR AND EMPTY ROOM

This is a major improvement of the older' OPEN DOOR' management style. Now you can really walk in and out anytime you want. Nobody ever knows where these managers are.

14) MANAGING BY SPEAKING WITH OTHER MAN