Selling Jokes / Recent Jokes

An unemployed man goes to apply for a job with Microsoft as a janitor. The manager there arranges for him to take an aptitude test (Section: Floors, sweeping and cleaning).
After the test, the manager says, "You will be employed at minimum wage, $5.15 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address, so that I can send you a form to complete and tell you where to report for work on your first day. Taken aback, the man protests that he has neither a computer nor an e-mail address.
To this the MS manager replies, "Well, then, that means that you virtually don't exist and can therefore hardly expect to be employed.
Stunned, the man leaves. Not knowing where to turn and having only $10 in his wallet, he decides to buy a 25 LB flat of tomatoes at the supermarket. Within less than 2 hours, he sells all of the tomatoes individually at 100% profit.
Repeating the process several times more that day, he ends up with almost $100 before going to sleep that night. And thus it more...

1. Binglish (for Bombay_English).

2. Bhindi (for Bombay_Hindi)

3. This list is perpetually incomplete since the evolution of this language can never possibly cease.

4. Bhindi/Binglish: Pronunciations are in brackets following the words.

5. Chikna - Stands for any good looking fellow. Chikna actually means smooth.

6. Keeda - An absolute pest.

7. Jhakaas - Superb. Excellent.

8. Haila! - This originated from "Hai Allah! " but I don't think 99% of the users know about this. Haila would translate to "Oh God!"

9. ChappanTikkli/Punter/Tapori/Shana - Roadside loafer. Tapori is among the most commonly used words in Bhindi.

10. Bevada / Gutter / Taankee / Batli / JohnnyWalker - A Drunk.

11. Saand - A boisterous or an exceeding brash guy.

12. Chotay - For any kid working in a Tapri. If the shop has more than one kid all would have to be more...

A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles.Coincidentally, by chance, while checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new
bibles that had never been opened and distributed. So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congrega-tion who would be
willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.Peter, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task. The minister knew that Peter and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some bibles but he had serious doubts about Louie. Louie was just a little local farmer, who had always tended to keep to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impedi-ment. Poor little Louis stuttered very badly. But, not wanting to discourage poor Louis, the minister decided to let him try anyway.He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked more...

TOKYO (AP) - The recent craze for hydrogen beer is at the heart of a three way lawsuit between unemployed stockbroker Toshira Otoma, the Tike-Take karaoke bar and the Asaka Beer Corporation. Mr Otoma is suing the bar and the brewery for selling toxic substances and is claiming damages for grievous bodily harm leading to the loss of his job. The bar is counter suing for defamation and loss of customers. The Asaka Beer Corporation brews "Suiso" brand beer, where the carbon dioxide normally used to add fizz has been replaced by the more environmentally friendly hydrogen gas. A side effect of this has made the beer extremely popular at karaoke sing-along bars and discotheques. Hydrogen, like helium, is a gas lighter than air. Because hydrogen molecules are lighter than air, sound waves are transmitted more rapidly; individuals whose lungs are filled with the nontoxic gas can speak with an uncharacteristically high voice. Exploiting this quirk of physics, chic urbanites can now more...

Everyone remembers the cartoon show Scooby-Doo from their early childhood, right? But something you may not remember is what the show was really about. As we've gotten older, it has become more clear what Fred, Shaggy, Daphne, Velma, and Scooby were actually doing as they traversed the continent foiling crimes of all sorts in the Mystery Machine.

WHAT WE REMEMBER: Four teenagers and their trusted dog gallop across the country in their purple and green van solving mysteries of all sorts -- and in the process meet all kinds of interesting people.

THE TRUTH: Four high-school dropouts and their sentient dog ride around the country in their psychedelic love machine, earning their way by selling drugs. Oh, and they occasionally take some old guys mask off to solve a mystery. It may be hard to swallow, but just take a look at the evidence... Take Shaggy for example. Not only is he the inspiration for the current' grunge' scene, with his sloppy dress and facial hair, but more...

This joke should be told to a drinking audience, one that can appreciate it's difficulties:
Two brothers, Tucker & Buck, grew up on a duck farm with their parents; Becky & Huck. Comin back from town one day Huck's truck got unluckily stuck in some muck and, worse, the muck was between the ties of a railroad crossing. Sure enough, a train arrived and ran right over Becky, Huck, and the muck stuck truck.
Freshly orphaned, it didn't take the brothers long to exhaust their resources and in order to raise some cash, they decided to sell a couple ducks.
Tucker & Buck each tucked a duck up under their arm, & went strutting down the pike. At a fork in the road, a wager was struck for 10 bucks, Tucker & Buck would each try his luck selling a duck and meet again later to settle the wager.
Hiking briskly, Buck passed by a bungalow festooned with a buxom B girl on it's Balcony. The Lass beckoned to Buck, and assured him his duck rendered adequate tender for her to remove the bends more...

I don't know if you know this, but they are now selling Kosher computers (Made in Israel ) called a DELLSHALOM. It is selling at such a good price I bought one. Mine arrived yesterday. If you or a friend are considering a kosher computer, you should know there are some important upgrades and changes from the typical computer you are used to, such as:
a. The cursor moves from right to left. It comes with two hard drives:one for fleyshedik (business software) and one for milchedik (games).
b. Instead of getting a "General Protection Fault" error, it now gets "Ferklempt."
c. The Chanukah screen saver includes "Flying Dreidels."
d. It shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings.
e. After my computer dies, I have to dispose of it within 24 hours.
f . The "Start" button has been replaced with the "Let's go! I'm not getting any younger!" button.
g. When disconnecting external devices from the back of my more...