Senate Jokes

A member of the United States Senate, known for his hot temper and acid tongue, exploded one day in mid-session and began to shout, "Half of this Senate is made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!" All the other Senators demanded that the angry member withdraw his statement, or be removed from the remainder of the session. After a long pause, the angry member acquiesced. "OK," he said, "I withdraw what I said. Half of this Senate is NOT made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!"

Eugene d'Albert (noted German composer) was married six times. At an evening reception which he attended with his fifth wife shortly after their wedding, he presented the lady to a friend who said politely, "Congratulations, Herr d'Albert; you have rarely introduced me to so charming a wife." During a visit to America, Winston Churchill was invited to a buffet luncheon at which cold fried chicken was served. Returning for a second helping, he asked politely, "May I have some breast?" "Mr. Churchill," replied the hostess, "in this country we ask for white meat or dark meat." Churchill apologized profusely. The following morning, the lady received a magnificent orchid from her guest of honor. The accompanying card read: "I would be most obliged if you would pin this on your white meat." Sentenced to two years hard labor (for Sodomy), Oscar Wilde stood handcuffed in driving rain waiting for transport to prison. "If this is the way more...

One day a little boy went up to his dad and asked him what polotics were. He replied "
lets just say that I am the president, your mom is the congress, the maid is the senate, and your little brother is the future. Put them all together and that's politics."
The little boy still didn't understand, but he went to bed anyway.
That night he found that his little brother crapped in his diaper, so he went to get his parents. When he went into the room, he found that his dad was not there. He went to the couch and saw his dad screwing the maid. The next day, the little boy said to his dad that he understood politics;"
While the President is screwing the Senate, the Congress is unaware and the future is full of shit."
"
Very good,"
replied his father.

The campaigns of Scott Brown and Martha Coakley exchanged angry jibes Monday as emotions in the crucial Massachusetts Senate contest seemed to reach the boiling point in its final day of campaigning. What's going on here? You would think they were fighting over a late-night talk show.

THE US Senate has overwhelmingly approved Washington's nuclear deal with New Delhi, in which India recieves access to civilian nuclear technology and in return, America gets its tech support departments back.