Session Jokes / Recent Jokes

While attending a spelling session in school one day, The teacher asked if anyone could spell the word DUMB? Darla raises her hand and says "I can, I can"The teacher replies, "OK, go ahead Darla..."Darla replies..."D-U-M-B"The teacher replies, "very good", and "can you use that word in a sentence?"Darla replies, "Sure, Buckwheat is very DUMB."The teacher replies, "OK, well can anyone spell the word STUPID?"Again, Darla raises her hand, and the teacher replies, "OK, go ahead Darla."Darla replies, "S-T-U-P-I-D"The teacher replies "very good", and "can you use that word in a sentence?"Darla replies, "Sure, Buckwheat is very STUPID."The teacher replies, "OK, well lets continue, can anyone spell the word DICTATE?"No one raises their hand, so the teacher asks Buckwheat if he can spellthe word DICTATE? Buckwheat replies, "Sure, D-I-C-T-A-T-E"The teacher more...

Joe has been seeing a psychoanalyst for four years for treatment of the fear that he had monsters under his bed. It had been years since he had gotten a good night`s sleep. Furthermore, his progress was very poor, and he knew it. So, one day he stops seeing the psychoanalyst and decides to try something different. A few weeks later, Joe`s former psychoanalyst meets his old client in the supermarket, and is surprised to find him looking well-rested, energetic, and cheerful. "Doc!" Joe says, "It`s amazing! I`m cured!" "That`s great news!" the psychoanalyst says. "you seem to be doing much better. How?" "I went to see another doctor," Joe says enthusiastically, "and he cured me in just ONE session!" "One?!" the psychoanalyst asks incredulously. "Yeah," continues Joe, "my new doctor is a behaviorist." "A behaviorist?" the psychoanalyst asks. "How did he cure you in one session?" more...

This one comes from General Pervez Musharraf's trusted personal barber who had become infected by the popular demand for the restoration of democracy.
One morning, while clipping the president's hair he asked:' Gareeb pur war] When are you going to have elections in Pakistan?'
The president ignored the question with the contempt it deserved from a military dictator. At the next hair-cutting session, the barber asked:' Aalijahl Isn't it time you redeemed your promise to have elections?'
The president controlled his temper and remained silent.
At the third hair-clipping session the barber again blurted out:' Banda Nawaz, the awam (commofi people) are clamouring for elections; when will you order them?'
The president could not contain himself any longer and exploded:' Gaddaar I will have you taught a lesson you will never forget!' and he ordered his minions to take away the barber and give him ten lashes on his buttocks.
The barber fell at the'great man's more...

Three women attend a group therapy session with their kids to find out about their obsessions and how to get over them.
The therapist says that determining their obsession is easy. She turns to the first woman and says "
you are obsessed with money because you named your child Penny. You fear not having enough of it."
The therapist turns to the second woman and says "
you are obsessed with sweets because you named your child Sugar. You must also crave sweets and not get enough of it."
By now the third woman has heard enough and thinks this is all BS so she turns to her son and says "
come on Dick we are leaving."