Suite Jokes

A guy went to Las Vegas, and won big, really big, in one of the casinos.
When you win big in Vegas the casino will give you free things, like meals, show tickets, or rooms, this is all designed to keep you there so that you will lose what money you have won.
After winning fifty thousand dollars at the crap table, the casino decided to give the guy a night in the penthouse suite.
The guy went up to the room, opened the big double doors, and stepped into a three room suite.
The room is on a corner of the hotel and two walls are nothing but windows, with a fantastic view of the city. There's a wet bar in one corner, with a big screen T.V.
The guy dropped his bag of money in a chair and stood looking out the windows at the city.
He realized he was all alone and needed someone to share his good fortune.
He called the front desk and told the clerk to send up one of the best, high-priced call girls in the city.
Thirty minutes later there was a knock on the more...

There were three ladies. A blonde, a burrnett and a red head. These three women were runing from the cops so they went and hid in a barn. The burrnett hid in a chichen suite, the red head hid in the cow suite, and the blonde hid in an empty potatoe sack. the cops then came in and kicked the chicken suite and the burrnett went cluck, cluck, cluck. so the cops moved on, they moved to the cow suite, they then kicked it . the red head went moooooooooooo. Then they kicked the sack of potatoes and the blonde went pootttaaatttoooeeesss.

A groom and his newlywed wife go to their hotel on their honeymoon. They check in at the front desk, and the receptionist gives the groom a key to the bridal suite. The whole evening, the people in the next room are phoning down to the main desk to complain about the moaning, which doesn't stop for one minute the entire night. The next morning, at 6 a.m., the groom calls room service.
"Hi, could I get some breakfast brought up here?"
"Sure, what would you like?" asks room service.
The groom replies, "Well, I have to replace all the energy I lost last night, so you'd better get me six fried eggs, nine sausages, 12 slices of toast, and six liters of orange juice."
Room service replies, "Gee, that's quite an appetite you have there. Is that for your wife as well, or just for you?"
"No, that's just for me. Can you send up six pieces of lettuce for my wife as well?"
Room service asks, "Why six pieces of more...

Allegedly a letter to the Home Economist:

SIR:

Mr. Gates' arguments may also be applied to the electricity utility business. If I were the head of Gates Gas & Electric, the first thing I would do is declare that we sell energy systems, not power, and that customers tell us that they want a familiar energy environment wherever they go

The first step would be to integrate a smart fridge into the overall energy system as it is the first appliance opened by most users and real-time monitoring of beer temperature increases satisfaction with the energy environment for 78% of all customers

Customers would be free to use other fridges, even making someone else's their default appliance. However, if they try to remove the Gas & Electric fridge their television and air conditioner might not function properly. When a circuit fails in an older home we would repair it with a' service pack' that also installs our fridge, eventually introducing all more...

In a joint press conference early this morning, the Chief Executives of Microsoft and Novell revealed that their companies had been working together to increase Microsoft's dominance of the computer industry. In a secret partnership with Microsoft, Novell has been strategically acquiring Microsoft's major competitors in the software industry and ruining them.
The relationship goes back a number of years, according to Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates. "[Digital Research's] DR-DOS 5.0 was ten times the operating system that MS-DOS 4.01 was. We couldn't even steal technology fast enough to compete. That was when we first contacted Novell." Under direction from Microsoft, Novell then purchased Digital Research, a small California company best known for its CP/M operating system.
Novell CEO Bob Frankenburg continued, "We let the developers release DR-DOS 6.0, which unfortunately was a success, but then we jumped in with both feet. By the time we were done with it, more...